A Few More

[Rondy]

I applied for a personal loan and they asked what its for.
I said "It's personal."

___

The instructions for the chicken goujons said "Turn halfway through cooking".
Now I'm facing away from the oven and can't tell if they're ready!

___

My elderly neighbour just reached 110
Thats the last time i get in a car with her!

___

Had a stroke of luck this morning.
Took my old Chinese Microwave to be valued at the local Auctioneers.
Turns out it dates back to the Ping Dynasty.

___

 

I saw a golf buggy parked in the disabled bay, I thought I wonder what his handicap is?

___

Did you know, 18% of men like women with big thighs ...11% of men like women with skinny thighs ..all the rest just like something in between.

___

Just downloaded the soundtrack of Titanic,its syncing at the moment.

___

Police have raided a factory producing thousands of counterfeit Kipling products. A Police spokesman said " They're exceedingly good fakes"

___

Just been to the opticians to get my eyes tested and you'll never guess who I bumped into whilst I was there..
... everyone!

___