News1 min ago
Scots Only I Think
A list of ten jokes only Scots would understand:
1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.
2. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
3.Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.
4. After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.
5. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?
Coo eight.
6. A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says: "Can you come and get me? I've missed the last bus and it's pouring with rain."
"Okay," says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?"
The girl replies: "From the top of my head right down to my knickers".
7. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.
8. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
"No", argues the assistant, "look at that - it says Taiwan"
9. What's the difference between a collie dug and a pan loaf?
Two different breeds
10. A man tells his pal that he is going into town to buy a pair of shoes. His pal says “where aboot?” and he replied “No I prefer wearing shoes”
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