ChatterBank3 mins ago
I have problems with sexual feelings.
24 Answers
The trouble is that i am either overcome by desire and really interested in sex or (and usually right afterwards) am completely not interested and cant stand the thought of it. Either after sex solo or with a girl then its the same i feel dirty and that sex is wrong, also afterwards i want to never do it again.
Are these extremes of feeling natural? And i feel that i am very often taken by desire when out, maybe its natural but i always look at women i like and wish...!
But i mean i know in some ways what i have said may seem a bit jokey but its not as i dont feel i can sustain a meaningful relationship due to this and other emotional problems.
Are these extremes of feeling natural? And i feel that i am very often taken by desire when out, maybe its natural but i always look at women i like and wish...!
But i mean i know in some ways what i have said may seem a bit jokey but its not as i dont feel i can sustain a meaningful relationship due to this and other emotional problems.
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No best answer has yet been selected by steve208. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Well I think the first thing I would want to know is, what is your background. Have you had any religious or influences in your upbringing that may have given rise to some of these conflicting feelings. I think that to be overcome with desire and then afterwards not to be interested is fine, just like an enjoyable meal, however the 'wrong' and 'dirty' part of it is the bit you need to address. You hint at 'other emotional problems' and as you do not elaborate one cannot tell if there is a link. As far as being natural, well sexuality is very individual and complex and I don't think that there is a 'norm'. The fact is you are concerned about your feelings and not at ease with them, and that is perhaps why maybe you could have some counselling to help unravel what is going on both sexually and mentally and to help you accept and perhaps love yourself a little more.
i'm sorry i can't really help - i am a girl!
I would say that seeing someone you find attractive and wishing you could get closer is surely perfectly normal - so long as that's where it stays and you don't stalk 'em!
Also, i don't think there are many people who would want sex straight after just having some - or maybe there is, what do I know?
I hope someone helps you with your question and gives you asome good avice.
If you are worried about your feelings, you could talk to your doctor. he could perhaps recommend a councillor you could talk to . x
I would say that seeing someone you find attractive and wishing you could get closer is surely perfectly normal - so long as that's where it stays and you don't stalk 'em!
Also, i don't think there are many people who would want sex straight after just having some - or maybe there is, what do I know?
I hope someone helps you with your question and gives you asome good avice.
If you are worried about your feelings, you could talk to your doctor. he could perhaps recommend a councillor you could talk to . x
Well yes i think the problems do go deep but i am somewhat scared to bring them up and discuss them with my counsellor. Not because i think it wont help or he wont help but that i feel that talking about things will leave them at the surface of my emotions afterwards.
This really brings me to a question i was going to ask as well but is along the same line as this.
Is it better to keep emotional/thoughts suppressed or should i talk about them? I feel sometimes that talking about them brings the problem to the surface and i worry more but i would think the reasoning for talking things through is to re-assess them and place them back in the emotional drawer in a neat way. hope that makes sense.
This really brings me to a question i was going to ask as well but is along the same line as this.
Is it better to keep emotional/thoughts suppressed or should i talk about them? I feel sometimes that talking about them brings the problem to the surface and i worry more but i would think the reasoning for talking things through is to re-assess them and place them back in the emotional drawer in a neat way. hope that makes sense.
steve every time you post on here, and it has been going on all summer, you seem very intense and over wordy, i know it seems very unusual and it is a concern, last time posy said it straight out, re-read what she said, this is not where you should be in your life you have everything to live for, try to chill oput and relax mate.
I think that AB is helping you, but also that you are not making the progress you would if you were able to be as clear in the real world situations, noone can say you cannot carry on posting on here, but i personally think you are not moving on from your insular feelings, you need to open up and involve yourself in other peoples lives more to get some perspective.
Hum ok i think that is a good idea. I am not sure how to do that though, without any real friends its difficult to get to where you describe.
I mean since signing up here i have started to swim more, gone back to charity work, joined a conservation group, and joined a social group which seems good.
i suppose i could try to go to more of the social group events, maybe go out for a drink with guys from work (though this is on the same night as the social group usually) and have a friend from uni i should go and visit when i get the chance with time off from work.
I mean since signing up here i have started to swim more, gone back to charity work, joined a conservation group, and joined a social group which seems good.
i suppose i could try to go to more of the social group events, maybe go out for a drink with guys from work (though this is on the same night as the social group usually) and have a friend from uni i should go and visit when i get the chance with time off from work.
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