Friend going iraq!

[stylinsam]

Hi guys my friend is due to go to iraq, in a few weeks and on sat night we had a heart to heart. He told me that I was a good person, and that my bf really deserved me. He told me I was one of his best friends and he will be forever grateful for that. Weve been through so much and he told me that he loves me as a friend!! He then asked me to be a second witness on his will, the thing is im finding it really hard to deal with, just thinking that he may never come back.

So my Q is as anyone been in this situation before i.e bfs,dads,husbands,sons etc..
That can give me an idea how to cope!

I no this sounds really strange but it's the way I feel, my bf is also finding it hard to cope as he has been friends with him since he was a baby!!

Thanks xx

[raysparx1]

Hi Sam,

You must not worry about this, because he has made a will does not mean he is going to die soon, I know what you mean,because it is a sudden realisation that , We are going to dieat some point, it exposes our mortality,but at tghe end of the day it is no different to signing a cheque,you are only putting your name on a piece of paper, so don't worry and don't feel guilty about doing it, take care sam xx

I hope I have made sense.xx

[redcrx]

oh Sam,
that mustve been very emotional for you. Its a sobering thought that he is going to iraq but you need to be able to support him rather than appear upset. They need all the best wishes that we can muster.

Ive never been in that situation but even just having to be witness to my ex husbands will after we divorced was emotional enough, we never like to think that anyone other than old people die.

Really, we should all have wills from as soon as we have anything that could be passed to those we love, money, houses, belongings etc. But many in the younger generations see it as a negative thing, and relate it to death. We need to change the way we see it.

I wish your friend all the best for his duty in Iraq.

[stylinsam]

thanks guys xx ;o)

[Hellion]

Hi Sam,

I can understand that this is emotional for you but sometimes when people are faced with their own potential mortality they just want to set their affairs in order as it were.
Many years ago I went travelling and before I left I made a will, found someone who would take care of my cat if something happened to me. I also told my 'friend' of many years that 'I loved him'. Needless to say I came back fine and my 'friend' ,whilst at the time rather taken by suprise by what I'd said, also thought about what I meant to him and we've now been together 20 years!
Please don't be upset Sam - my husbands cousin has been to Iraq 3 times now - and remember if, and I mean if, something did happen to him you and your boyfriend will both be able to treasure that fact that you both had the opportunity of sharing with him how you all feel about each other.
I lost a boyfriend once without being able to say goodbye and believe me that feeling is the worst in the world.
Hugs to youxx

[cameronang]

Hi Sam.
My Dad finished his 23 years in the army and it was hard when he went off to the Gulf and Bosnia. My brother is a Royal Military Policeman and spent 6 months in Iraq last year. (He is going to Afgahnistan next Aug) My Dad now works in Basra and I have to admit that it's hard everytime the news comes on about the war. To be honest, we try not to think about it most of the time because if you do then you wouldn't be able to do anything else. I will always remeber the night before my brother went to Iraq and he called me to say goodbye- it wasn't very nice. I honestly don't think that my family would be doing the job they are if they did not think they would be safe and I believe that the day they stop loving what they do will be the day they come home. Try not to worry about your friend because that sometimes makes it harder if you know what i mean. Ang' x

[WendyS]

This must have been a difficult situation for you because it is one of those issues which occasionally hits us and brings us face to face with reality. Your friend is having to do this, knowing the reality and the risks he faces. He will do this more comfortably in his mind if he knows that whatever happens, he doesn't need to worry about loose ends being untied, which could be a dangerous distraction for him. . He is just being realistic and sensible and getting his life in order. You can best help him, and yourself, by keeping in touch regularly while he's away and sending him nice friendly letters telling him interesting things which are happening back home. People doing difficult things in difficult surroundings need something stable to hang on to.