woodworm

[Thunderbird+]

A woodworm walks into a bar and shouts....





Hey, is the bartender here1

[Clanad]

Slow day, T-bird?

[Andyvon]

Two atoms walk into a bar for a drink. The first one says "Hey, I think I've just lost an electron!" The second one says "Are you sure?" The first one says "Yeah, I'm positive".

[RATTER15]

Thunderbird+ im a bit slow today as well? please explain.

[Carakeel]

Nope, sorry, didn't get that one.

[Thunderbird+]

O'h c'mon guys, what do woodworm eat ?...Penny dropped yet ? ;�)

[RATTER15]

I see!!

Hey, is the bar-tender here?

not: Hey, is the bartender here1

the 1 was a bit confusing

Yes very good!

[Thunderbird+]

Your right Ratter, I should have split that word up and the (1) was suposed to be an exclamation mark but I slipped ! its the way I tell em, you know.

[RATTER15]

Yes T'bird lol, its the way you tell em.

[ali_alic]

A bear walks into a bar and says " can I have a pint of.........................................................................................................................................................................guiness please"
and the bartender says "why the big pause (Paws)"

[Thunderbird+]

Okay, I'll keep my day job going until I get a bit more practice. Thanks Tbird+

[arburgirl]

I still don't get it !

[Lonnie]

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage
bags with her, one in each hand.

There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is
flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops
her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag... " Damn!" says
the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find
some.

Thanks for the warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did
you get all that money?" "Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old
lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football
stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes,
right into my flower beds!" "So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big
pair of hedge clippers, and each time someone sticks his little thingy
through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!"
"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop.

OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well", says the little
old lady, "not all of them
pay "

[Thunderbird+]

Lonnie, that sounds like the unkidest cut of all LoL

That reminds me, I took my car into the garage and said, I want this cas simonised and when I went back to collect it they'd cut 1/2 an inch off the exhaust pipe.

[Clanad]

Or... itinerant worker approaches a guy at home and asks if there's any work he could do. Homeowner says... "you can take that can of red pain and refinish the porch on the north side of the house..." Itinerant agrees to do it for $10.... a short while later, the itinerant says to the homeoner "... jobs done, can I have my $10?..." Homeowner pays him and as the worker is walking away says "By the way that wasn't a Porsche it was a BMW..."

[Thunderbird+]

I walked into the Smuglers Inn, down by the florida key's and standing at the bar was a guy dressed as a Pirate.
Feeling a little awkward, I decided to strike up conversation and said, Nice earrings you have,
He then turned round and said, yeah I bought them down at the flea market and got them for a dollar each!
I replied, Hey thats not bad for a buck-an- ear!

[lankeela]

Two VD germs sitting by a railway line. One starts to cross when a train approaches, and he says to the other, I'm a goner 'ere.

[Simeon]

A horse goes into a pub and asks the landlord for a a beer. The landlord says certainly sir but why the long face?

[saintpeter48]

A penguin walks into a bar and the barman says "your brother was in here yesterday" the penguin said, "what did he look like"!

[samuel23]

white horse goes into a bar and the barman says we've got a whisky named after you and the horse says 'why have you got a whisky called eric?'

[Trojanfarce]

dyslexic bloke walks into a bra.......