i lied and now shes thrown me out

[BeFrank]

I told my girlfriend the biggest lie ever and only did it because i was a afraid for her. baically she walks her dog in the field behind our house and 6 months ago there was a series of sex attacks there. i told her that there had been another recently because i didnt want her going there anymore as ive been really concerned for her sefety - nothing more. she then found out that i had lied.
now she says she cant trust me and has thrown me out. what should i do and how can i make it up to her?

looks like me and easymt are in the same boat

[RATTER15]

If she has thrown you out because of that, you are better off without her, you also say you are afraid her? perhaps you would like to enlarge on that, may make things a little more clear, no shame in being afraid of your wife, I know what you mean if that is the case, (and i'm not talking about carakeel)

[RATTER15]

Sorry Befrank, I misread that, you are afraid for her, not of her, my mistake!!

[bednobs]

these women seem a bit unstable to me, and i think you are both better off without them. I cant understand why either of you actually want to make it up with people who can go mental over such little things (well, yours is a fairly little thing anyway).
the worst thing you can do is seem needy cause that gives them all the power!

[noxlumos]

Well slightly noble in it's intentions as your lie was, what you are actually doing is demonstrating passive aggressive controlling indications and that's why she's so lairy with you. You are in effect trying to frighten and manipulate her out of doing something she enjoys, which I'm sure she's thought about and weighed up in her own head,so her problem won't just be that you lied, but that you clearly think your judgement of the situation is superior to hers and that you feel you have the right to lie to her, manipulate her and treat her like a child in order to make hr do something that you want her to.
I know you did all that with the best of intentions, but it's the sort of thing my wife would hit me ocver the head with a mallet for, if I tried it, and she's a very laid back person.
Your gf feels completely humilated by you I'd think, that's what your problem is not a lie in itself.

[jno]

you didn't just lie to her, you condescended to her: you figured you knew better than she did about what risk she was running (even though you actually invented it) and you were the one who should decide where she ought to walk her dog. She may well have figured you were trying to run her life for her. This isn't utterly wicked, but she clearly doesn't like it. If you want her back, you'll first need to adjust your thinking a bit: honesty is an important thing in a relationship, and so is treating your partner like an equal. Or, if you want a woman whose life you can dictate, it'll have to be someone else (and to be honest, you probably won't find many of them these days).... good luck, you're obviously not a bad guy, but just resolve to tell the truth in future.

[jno]

crossed with nox there... and agree with him, as usual

[LazyGun]

I would agree with Nox and Jno... and I find it somewhat ironic that someone with the name BeFrank is posting about a lie they made.
Surely you would have been better employed to "be frank" with your GF and voice your concerns? Perhaps offer to accompany her walking the dog, or to get a friend to accompany her.

[Athley]

Yes what a wierd lie to make up. You should've offered to walk with her or explain your fears for her taking that route.

I find it strange though that someone would throw you out the house for that. I think maybe this goes deeper.......

[RATTER15]

I agree with these answers as well, but to throw you out over it is silly behaviour, she should be able to see why you said it, and you were only thinking of her welfare.

Would I tell a little white lie if I thought it would save my partner from any sort of attack?? yes I think I would!!!

[joko]

i agree with nox and jno.

i would be furious.

perhaps this is just yet another thing in a long line of similar incidents and she has simply had enough?

my parents are like this with me and it drives me insane.

you should realise that this behaviour is unnaceptable.

i know your intentions were good, but you should have just told her of your worries - or did you know she would DEFY you? does she often ignore your "advice"?
I suspect thats why you did this - because you know she will not allow you to control her - and i don't blame her.

i hope you have learned a lesson here.

[sophie_1003]

I think she overreacted a bit as, after all, you were (if in a rather strange way) looking out for her, however, whats done is done and even if people don't like it you've acted on your feelings. For now I would say leave her to cool down a bit, then go to see her in person and apologise for lying to her, explain that although you know she can look after herself you were worried about her, say that it would tear you apart if anything ever did happen to her and thats why you did the only thing you could think of to protect her at the time. Say that you've missed her and you really would like to give things another go so that you can try and earn her trust. (or words to that effect)

[welshfox]

I'd just like to say that If you were my boyfriend, I'd be cheesed off about the lie but glad that you were considering my wellbeing. I wouldn't throw you out though. Maybe you should write her a letter voicing your concerns and explaining why you did what you did? Get her to explain to you why it hurt her so much and maybe you'll get to the root of the problem. Hope you sort things out for the best - Good Luck x

[elfmay]

is it a big dog or small dog?