I know there is a jokes section but a

[laurence2]

Woman goes 2 buy a parrot.

The parrots are �200 �100 & �15.

She asks why the last parrot is so cheap? ''because he use to live in a brothel'' says the shopkeeper.

That dosen't bother me she said and buys the parrot for �15.

When she gets home the parrots says '' fcuk me, a new brothel'' the woman finds it funny.

A little while later her daughters get home and the parrot says ''fcuk me, two new prozzies'' the daughters burst out laughing.

Finally the Dad arrives home and the parrot says ''fcuk me PETE, Havent seen you for a while.


Marks out of 10 please.

And apologises if anyone out there is offended.

[Doc Spock]

Now that is funny.

[Petal~flower]

4 out of 10

sorry laurence

[Ida1979]

10/10 laurence :))))))))))) lol

[overheadplan]

excellent laurence2, made me giggle.

[SpiderPig]

6 out of 10

Not as funny as the F**k off you one eyed B*****D -parrot joke - Impossible to tell online - as it requires hand gestures !

[laurence2]

A Woman & Baby in the doctors surgery.

Doc is concerned about the babys weight...is he bottle fed or breast fed...woman replies breast... doc gets her stripped to the waist so he can examine her breast.. he pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while.. no wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk.... woman replies i know i'm his granny, but i'm glad i came

[Petal~flower]

made me chuckle....so 8/10

[Ida1979]

HaHa laurence 10/10 again. Anymore? :))))))))

[laurence2]

Last one folks and then its goodnight from me.

Paddy walks into the doctors surgery and punches him.... You barsteward telling my wife she has a nice fanni...Doctor says i told her shes got acute angina

[overheadplan]

I've got the giggles big time now, don't go laurence

[Petal~flower]

I think 10 out of 10 for effort there laurence

Well done

[Ida1979]

Lol laurence if I could give you 11/10 I would :)))))))
Thanks for the jokes, what a lovely thread.

[ELVIS68]

I heard Keith Harris tell that gag at Hopton laurence...not you is it?

[laurence2]

Fella fancies a girl in his office but she has a boyfriend.

He approaches her anyway and offers her �1000 if she'll have sex with him, i'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and i'll be finished by the time you pick it up.

The girl consults her boyfriend, he advises her to ask for �2000, pick it up real fast he won't have a chance, half an hour later the boyfriend calls her and ask whats going on. she fumes - the barsteward used coins


Good night folks

[bigmamma]

A man in a hospital bed after an op. and he has an oxygen mask on , he asks the nurse " Are my nuts black ?"
The nurse has a look under the covers and assures him they are ok. He pulls the mask off and says " No nurse , I said are my results back "

[laurence2]

Very good mamma .lol

[bigmamma]

Sorry Laurence love , I forgot to first say 10/10 for your jokes :-)

[overheadplan]

still giggling away here bigmamma funny as anything

[Louisa 69]

Laurence your a natural i've never laughed so much my sides hurt :)))))

[laurence2]

If you want more.

Give me a ''Hell yea''