S'up to her...

[Whickerman]

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you were in a pile-up on the Motorway."

"You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break it to you as gently as I can: Your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on, "We've checked your insurance and you've actually got �9,000 compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the technology now to build you a new penis that will work just as well as your old one, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an inch." The guy perks up a bit at this.

"So it's a simple decision," the doctor says, "You need to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch penis before and you decide to go for a nine inch penis now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine-incher before and you decide only to invest in a five incher now, she might be a bit disappointed. So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision." So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife

The doctor comes back the next day. "So" he says, "have you spoken with your wife?" "I have." says the chap. "And has she helped you to make the decision?" "Yes, she has" he says. "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor. "We're having a new kitchen," replies the man.

[China Doll]

Full on belly laugh Whicks... Excellent.

[topogigo]

Playground humour

[B00]

Well i liked it whickerman xxx

You're a little ray of sunshine today aren't you topogigo, you needn't think you're taking the title of Grumpiest Aber from me ya know!

[topogigo]

Doesn't mean i'm wrong

[carrust]

I remember a similar one when he has his penis replaced with a turkeys neck. Asked a few weeks later how his sex life was? He replied "bootifull".

[Whickerman]

Of course it's playground humour - I never let that get in the way of finding some things funny!

The day I get too serious to find the following funny will be a sad one for me:
Toilet gags
Dwarves falling over
Frasier
Viz
Lee Evans & Eddie Izzard
and
My Niece's knock knock jokes.

[wildwood]

I must have been to the wrong schools because I haven't heard that one before. Quite an unexpected punchline.
I really don't care what sort of humour it is... if it is funny I'll laugh and ******** to the naysayers.

[wildwood]

b0ll0cks to the spellchecker too.

[brionon]

'She who must be obeyed' didn't see the joke !

[topogigo]

Still crap

[logic]

topogigo's the best joke on this post. :- )