Depression and anxiety

[Wisebird]

This is an offshoot from the question on temazapan. I am a long term sufferer of depression/anxiety myself and take 20m Cipramil on an ongoing basis. Unfortunately, my son seems to have my inherited this genetic disposition from me. He is 21 and has been sufferering since about 16. He is incredibly intelligent and a very deep thinker and analyses everything. This causes him to go into terrible low moods where he cannot eat or sleep and cannot see the point of anything. My problem is them he will not go back for any more medical help as he says he will take take any medication to alter his brain chemistry. I have tried everything I can to help him to see reason, even telling him what an adverse affect this is having on me. This was s totally the wrong thing to do. Can anyone suggest where I go from here. It is so difficult knowing that there is help out there for him, but he will not go out to find it. He is a loving, gentle person and I hate to see him suffer like this. He will not even go to see a counsellor. Although, he does not admit it, think there is an element of fear in his refusal to seek help.

[Wisebird]

take take should read not take

[smudge]

Do you know Anniekon, from our first correspondence on pixies & fairies, I thought we had quite a few things in common. Now I see that another one of them is depression & anxiety! I am so sorry to hear this & that your son suffers too. I really do sympathise with you both. Like me, it seems that your son is trying to fight this problem, instead of seeking help. I go months knowing what is wrong with me, before visiting my GP, which in the long term doesn't help anyone, more so your loved ones. If he is not willing to listen to your reasoning, there's not much else you can do at this moment in time, but he will when he's ready. Maybe you could buy an audio tape on anxiety, which is what I bought & has helped in the past. If you wish to know the address of the place I bought it, I'll gladly give it to you.

[Wisebird]

Smudge, thanks for your reply. We do seem to have quite a lot in common! If you have a good tape, the address would be great. I have told him that a doctor won't necessarily prescribe drugs and that he might give him some coping strategies, but, as yet, to no avail. He seems not be be able to accept that the world can be a very horrible place. As we get older, I think we become more tolerant and realistic, but youth have such high ideals, and he certainly finds it very difficult to deal with the unfairnesses he find all about him. Thanks again for your very supportive answer. I am having to see the doctor myself next week to tell him what is happening with my son as it certainly is affecting me badly at the moment! Best wishes.

[Wisebird]

Sorry, Smudge, I forgot to wish you well with your current bout of depression. I think that there are lots of us about with problems such as hours. One of my friends at work has just 'come out' to us as being a manic depressive. She has had so much support from us all, that she feels a great weight has been lifted.

[Wisebird]

You can see I'm tired and fraught at present. For 'hours' read 'ours'!

[Robinia]

You can add me too to the d & a club, I always say that I was born worried. Sorry that your son is unwell, fortunately my sons don't appear to have followed me & I pray they never will. I suppose the only thing you could say to him is what would he suggest to a best friend in the same position. Hopefully he would want them to seek help. Not being much help here,Anniekon, but I do know how it feels to flounder around at the bottom of a hole. I've become an expert at *painting on a smile*! I'm reasonably ok at the moment but the thought of the winter & dark days & nights fills me with dread. All the best to you & smudge.

[Wisebird]

Thank you Noddy. Your advice seems very good. I will probably try that. My husband says that if I had nothing to worry about I would worry about it!

[smudge]

Thank you Anniekon & noddy. Just reading that other people suffer & that you are not alone really helps. I have been quite depressed, full of anxiety & grizzling a lot just lately. I am very good at trying to put on a smile for our daughters, but they can see through this. Fortunately, our Grandchildren make me look at life in a different perspective when they are around me, but behind closed doors....it's back to square one. I wish I wasn't such a sensitive person, but you just can't help the way you are made. I sometimes wish I could be a hard person, as they always seem to get on with their lives, with invisible blinkers on! But that just isn't me. I hope we all get a decent nights sleep & I wish you all well. Sweet dreams!

[smudge]

Whoops, I didn't mean: 'just knowing other people suffer really helps', I meant: 'knowing you are not alone really helps'! I think it's time for my Horlicks!

[Greedyfly]

I have suffered with Manic deprssion for over 15 years now and I can only say - DON'T DO IT to your son. I have taken many different medications and none of them have worked for me. I am not ruling them out and saying they don't work ever but there are better ways. I know it is talked about endlessly but counselling or hynotherapy is great. I had hypnotherapy earlier in the year and it made such a difference to me, it was just relaxation hypnotherapy no talking just trance. It may be worth a try. If not then maybe ST Johns Wort - people swear by it, the side effects are minimal and it is said to work very well, just as well as your prescribed drug. I hope all works it self out.

[Greedyfly]

I forgot to say that I also suffer from bad anxiety and the hypnotherapy also helped no end with that to.

[Wisebird]

Thanks Greenfly. I don't particularly want him to take drugs but I do want him to see our GP, who is very open to alternative therapies. I also think that if he sees the GP, he will be told that what he is experiencing is very common and that alone might help. All the support I am getting this evening is certainly helping me. Unfortunately, the only person my son will talk to about this at present is me and, perhaps selfishly, I would like someone to share the burden with.

[thejuggler]

To you all, Follow these instructions carefully. 1)Print off this page 2)Switch off your computer, now. I said NOW! 3)Take a nice shower or a bath, even masturbate if you think it will help. 4)Dry yourselves. 5)Get dressed 6)Go for a walk, meet real people and get yourselves a life. Just off for a shower.

[Wisebird]

Thanks to those very 'real' and intelligent people who have read my problem and given me sympathic and knowledgeable advice. I know we are strangers, but sometimes it is so much easier to talk to strangers and this is where sites like this help! I know this is not a discussion site, but sometimes discussions arise from it and this is human nature. I am now off out to continue with my 'real' life! Last night on AB has certainly lifted my spirits.

[Wisebird]

Coggles, your brilliant suggestion to the Juggler has made me really laugh and lifted my spirits even further. Thanks my friend.

[Wisebird]

Have just rated my own comment in error. Sorry.

[coggles]

Thanks Anniekon, as a fellow sufferer of on-off depression, I am glad you had a chuckle. Good luck with you and your son. Look after yourselves.