I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow. I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll have sex with the goat. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink willy.
Let's see Crimewatch stage a reconstruction of that.