Singles shopping
A man ia queueing at the 5 items or less checkout. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at his basket. He has a 4 pack of lager and an Indian meal for 1. She smiles at him. He looks in her basket and sees a half bottle of Lambrini and a Chinese meal for 1. He says to her "You're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "Yes, how do you know?" The man replies "Coz you're an ugly cxxt!"
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It was inevitable that Ronaldo would follow Kaka to Madrid. A Brazilian is always followed by an irritating cxxt !
SORRY ABOUT THIS WORD, BUT PERSONALLY I THOUGHT BOTH JOKES WERE HILARIOUS!!