3 year old being nasty to her mum

[Tups]

My daughter is a fantastic mum and spends a great deal of time with her 3 year old little girl. My grand daughter has benefited greatly from all the attention: she is bright, gregarious, confident and impeccably good-mannered. That is, with everyone except her mummy! She has whole days of being extremely nasty with her, calling her names, swearing at her (she is bright enough to realise when she hears 'naughty words' and knows she can upset her mummy by using them!) and deliberately doing all sorts of things around the house that she knows will get her into trouble.

What's the answer? My daughter has tried ignoring it, punishing it, showing how upset she is by it, trying to reason with her. Although she is glad her little girl behaves with other people, it is also a source of constant frustration, knowing she reserves all her apparent hatred and antagonism for mummy!

Any suggestions please?

[Mamyalynne]

Its naughty step/stool/corner time, my Grandddaughter is 3 and she called me stupid last wek and I reprimanded her, so she did it again and I sent her to the naught corner. She defied me 16 times but each time I returned her and both she and I were exhausted but eventually you regain your position of power. (1 minute per year of their age)

[Mamyalynne]

Sorry for all the spelling mistakes tis late will take meself off to the naughty corner (PS when returning them do not engage in conversation,just say 3 minutes starts now)

[Tups]

Thanks both. My daughter does have a naughty step, which she uses but I suspect she isn't consistent. She finds it very hard to be the nasty mummy. I've also told her to stay outwardly calm and in control. Easy for grandmothers to stay calm when they aren't with the children all the time, I know! I will try to encourage her to persevere.

[Mamyalynne]

Amazingly it doesn`t take that long its the start and consistency that matters, you mkae it clear that is unacceptable language or behaviour and they will take it on board if you are consistent


Good luck

[Mamyalynne]

sp* again

goodnight

[rickee]

Because your grand daughter is intelligent tups,she needs the stability of the consequence of bad behaviour- i.e. she is punished suitably.-the full time of the naughty step etc and not being allowed to play with what she wants to play with. Every time your daughter gives in and lets her just play on,she knows she has won and can play her mother like she wants!

[Tups]

Too true. It's difficult to get through to a young single mum though!

[ruthandsam]

Yes, the naughty step is what is used at my 3 year old's nursery and we follow suit so there are no inconsistencies, however, the word 'naughty' is banned by the nursery!!! It is called the Silly Step. Took us a while to not say the word 'naughty' but it works because it reminds us that it is the behaviour that is silly/naughty and not the child.

[vulcan]

What is wrong with the word naughty ? Silly means weak minded,stupid or foolish.
many Children who misbehave are certainly not stupid or foolish, but naughty, yes.