Deafness can be confusing.....

craft1948 | 23:08 Mon 01st Feb 2010 | Jokes

58 Answers

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring
at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private,
3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."
The little guy faints and falls to the floor..

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy
says: "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?
The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall,
I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3
pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,
"Turn around."

Eggs

Bad Day?

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craft1948

Question Author

eh?

dilf

1st old lady - isnt it windy
2nd old lady - no its thursday
3rd old lady - so am i lets have a cup of tea

craft1948

Question Author

look stop it.....I'm going to bed....:-)

pericat

my 16 year old is rolling around the floor at all of you - I may just hire you!

-- answer removed --

craft1948

Question Author

last time I post in here......full of bloody weirdos.

-- answer removed --

McMouse

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis fifty times."
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craft1948

Question Author

sorry McMouse......nokno told that one ^ on the previous page.....

McMouse

Apologies

.A man is lost. He decides to stop and ask for directions at a farm.

Before he knocks on the door, he saw in the window an old, naked couple. The wife was pulling her breasts, and the husband was jerking off. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house.

The homeowner tells the man, "They're deaf. She's saying 'Milk the cows,' and he's saying 'Go f**k yourself.'"

craft1948

Question Author

Now that did make me snigger...:-)

McMouse

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his accountant, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks.

Enzo is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is.

Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and
says, "Ask him again!"

The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him.." Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge !"

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies,
"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

craft1948

Question Author

enough........jack already told that one.......

society

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language.

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

'Honey,' she signs, 'Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.'

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, 'Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time.'

'If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis..........fifty times'