Modern version for Keith
An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back yard, had it fixed up nice; picnic tables, tennis court, basketball court, etc.
The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond and swigging large bottles of alcopops, falling over and puking all over the place
He made the women aware of his presence and they all started jumping around shaking their wobbly bits at him, giving him booties and shouting "F**** you what you gonna do about it you sad old git - got a good look then?".
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond, I only came to feed my alligators."
"We killed all them before we got in!" came the reply "What you gonna do call the RSPCA?"
Anti-social behaviour and drunken women overcome Old Age and cunning every time!