Don't
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. You know, I have heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You want to try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high-octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels great, No hangover, no bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No...”
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!”