'Surprise' for my Ex...

[NOX]

I just recieved a slightly strange phone call form the partner of my ex asking me if I wanted to come and stay at their house for Christmas as all the kids would be there and he thought I might like to see them over Christmas as he was touring all over the Christmas period and wouldn't be there. If I go he says I will have free run of their house, food etc already bought, use of a car and it would mean that my ex can accompany him and it would be a ' wonderful surprise for her'. Several things have occured to me about this. Firstly that in my experience my ex really doesn't like 'wonderful surprises' lol, she likes to know exactly what is going on, secondly he's using me as a baby sitter for a week and thirdly I'll have to see her recent ex (not the guy who phoned me, he's her new boyfriend) who I could quite happily beat to death with his own dismembered limb as I will also be babysitting her younger children for the week.
Does this sound like a terrible idea to anyone else or am I just being cynical?
If I don't go he says she'll be home with the kids alone for the whole of Christmas and New Year- not my problem I know but this guy seems quite nice and I get the impression is really trying to do something nice for everyone.

[mazie]

How badly do you want to see your children NOX ? and how many would you be looking after?

[mccfluff]

it sounds very confusing!

depends i would encouragehim to talk to her about it first, maybe she doens;t want to be away from the kids overs xmas

[cazzz1975]

I agree with butch, make it about spending time with your kids only

[mrs_overall]

Call me cynical but I can hear loud alarm bells ringing even from here

[carrust]

I would be tempted, but I would only be responsible for my own children. You could be leaving yourself wide open for accusations.

[zzxxee]

agreed xmas is all about the kids x

[NOX]

Well I'd love to see the kids obviously, I was in fact going to call her this week and enquire what was going to work this Christmas, but he's preemptied me a bit. All together there will be 6 kids and apparently my older son had already arranged to go and see them this Christmas so there will be him as well but he's 17 so not really a child. My main reservation is having to see her younger kids father - there is nothig drastically wrong with him except we loathe each other and I'm sure he won't be thrilled with the idea either.

[Dris]

Well NOX you know your ex better than she probably knows herself so I think youve second guessed very well.Im of the 'dont surprise me ilk' so i would just dig my heels in -thats why people wouldnt surprise me as they know I would.
As for seeing the Ex who she has children with -not a good idea and i'm sure she would agree.
I think he is going to put her in a situation that he wont like the end result of so to do him a kindness let alone anyone else I would say thank you but no thank you -i'll pop across at a time when we can all spend time together.She'll thank you for this-believe me:)

[jaydah]

You're being cynical - take up the offer & enjoy Xmas with kids. Refuse & you may NEVER get another chance.

[anneasquith]

i smell a rat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[anneasquith]

re the children nox...........are they your children with your ex?

[NOX]

My only two concerns really are seeing her ex- we just rub each other the wrong way at first sight and the fact she doesn't like surprises- really doesn't like surprises. This guy is only with her from this year so probably doesn't realise quite how much she doesn't like surprises.
I'm not worried about daft allegations- they're not that sort of people, but I really would prefer him to run it past her first I think.

[bednobs]

why don't you say you'll go, thanks very much, but only if your wife stays behind to look after her kids!

[NOX]

sorry butch and anne I was typing an answer when you posted.
No I don't have a current partner and yes some of the children are mine with my ex's but some are hers with her ex I don't get on with.

[Dris]

Thers no rat -I can assure you.I have known Nox for years both on and of line and I know his family circumstances and the complexities of it.
I do think personally that she wouldnt want this and the new b/f doesnt know her wel enough to realise this.
You see your children as often as you like -and do -so i would suggest to the guy that it may not pan out the way he would like but you'd be more than happy to go across and help out and be there if she wanted to join him for a few days-but he would have to run it past her first.

[woofgang]

ooh nox, I kno this is about the kids and all expenses paid christmas is a nice extra but oooo I can see so many ways in which this could go wrong and you could end up in the toilet, not least you being left in charge of children who are not yours...