The AnswerBank Christmas Crackers

[AB Editor]

Merry Christmas!

I would like to collect together as many rubbish christmas-cracker style jokes as we can.

Remember, they've got to be short enough to go on an unreasonably small piece of paper in tiny print and be entirely rubbish.

I'll start with a couple of old "favourites":

What flies and wobbles?
A Jellycopter

What do you get if you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A Walkie-Talkie

[benny3008]

which side of a chicken has more feathers?
The outside!

[mazie]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

[mazie]

What's the most popular Christmas wine?

'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'

[Dilbert53]

What do you call 2 men on a wall over a window?

Kurt n Rod

[Groupie]

Christmas - Because getting socks at any other time of year is just silly !

[DTCwordfan]

How does an eskimo make his house?

He glues it together.

[DTCwordfan]

Why is hunting on horses the sport of kings?

'Cos they have long reins.

[oranger]

What do you call an irish joiners daughter? Patio doors.

[DTCwordfan]

Why was Jesus not born in Norwich?

'Cos they couldn't find a virgin and three wise men.

[DTCwordfan]

The Queen's Christmas Day speech text for Saturday has just been released.

"My husband and I are going into the iron and steel business this coming year."

"I will do the ironing and Philip the stealing."

[Goldspot2]

Added to Dave the dogs post :
What do you call a man with brown paper trousers and a car on his head?
Jack Russell

[ttfn]

How do you say 'hungry horse' in 4 letters?










M T G G

[DTCwordfan]

Whats an Irish Christmas Cocktail

A pint of Guinness with a potato floating in it, and a sprig of holly on top.

[McMouse]

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ?
The deceased !

[marval]

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

What is the best xmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

What do snowmen where on their heads?
Ice caps!

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!

[malovibond]

What do you call a lady balancing a pint of guiness on her head?

Beatrix (Beer Tricks)

[squarebear]

Following on from that:

What do you call a lady balancing a pint of guiness on her head playing snooker?

Beatrix Potter

[marval]

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!

[boxtops]

What do you call a man buried under leaves?

Russell

[zabado]

What's brown and sounds like a bell.......
Dung !.