How do I "phase her out"

[CreamSoda]

I have an online friend.We text and email regularly, and Ive phoned her a few times (she's never phoned me). She suffered a bereavement and went though a hard time with online adult bullying. We exchange birthday and Christmas presents, we've done this for 2 years. Thing is, she refuses to meet me. She keeps making the most ridiculous excuses, such as she is waiting for an appointment for an arm problem, or she hasn't got a day off for 6 months. She doesn't want to meet obviously but why not just say so? She is fixated on the bullies online, and talks about them over and over, saying the same thing, this has been going on for 4 years. I feel guilty about phasing her out, she wants my support and to stick up for her, yet refuses to meet, which
I find a bit selfish and hurtful.

[sara3]

you obviously want different things, so move on. you can still support her whilst you live your life.. if you want to.

[AlBags]

Better off keeping your distance there I think.

[jackthehat]

Her refusal to meet you at least leaves you free to carry on your life in the real-world.

Many people would find that to be an entirely satisfying way of continuing a relationship.............although most people are wary of meeting only because they have lied about themselves.

[grasscarp]

Just tell her how you feel. That way if she doesnt really want to meet you then you have a good excuse to discontinue the online friendship.

[EvianBaby]

I think she's a he.

[sara3]

Evian.. like.... a troll?!!!

[AlBags]

Evian .. You could be right .. A male pretending to be female .. OK at first .. Embarrasing later when you get to know someone and they want to meet! : )

[EvianBaby]

I thought trolls were genderless?

I was thinking more like a girl but with a cock and balls.

[jomifl]

They can be tricky ;-)

[ummmm]

Maybe she only wants a cyber friendship.

[cazzz1975]

from someone who would be considered a troll (I am genderless) I would continue being friends, but as an online friend only.

[DSJ]

I smell a rat. Gradually let the exchanges lapse, if i were you.

[EDDIE51]

Easy, just gradually cut down the frequency of emails and texts.
You say she never phones you , does she text you or is that all one way as well ? If the answer is Yes then she simply does not want more than an on line relationship.

[Lambert-Butler]

Let her down slowly. Just like a leak in a raft and eventually she will realise that it is no use trying to blow air in a raft that is leaking more air than is getting blowed in it.

[boxtops]

I wouldn't send presents to somebody I'd never met - it sounds as if you are making much more of this relationship than she is.

[starone]

I smell a rat too or maybe even a troll.