I Went Out

[marval]

I went out last night and ended up getting arrested for vandalism. All I wanted to do was paint the town red.

After winning the kleptomaniac archery tournament I took a well-deserved bow.

I am looking for new techniques for waste disposal. Have you got any tips?

I really feel sorry for my friend Atlas. Every time I see him he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Mummy, when I grow up I want to be a pharmacist!” my daughter exclaimed. “Why on earth would she want to be a helper on a farm?” I thought to myself.

I was going to be a Milkman, but unfortunately I bottled it.

I think I am going to have to rename the hill walk I have organised on some land that I own, ‘Slipton Fell’ seems to be putting people off.

I was arrested for running an illegal alcohol shop the other day, but they had to let me go due to lack of proof.

I have finally discovered the meaning of life. Dictionaries are so helpful.

I have just bought myself a barge pole. I thought I would push the boat out.

[Patsy33]

Love them! Haha
PS, regards finding new techniques for waste disposal, I would dump that...

[waterboatman]

Nice ones. :o}

[waterboatman]

Very punny!

[murraymints]

lol