My Favourite..

[melv16]

...Ken Dodd joke is.
What a beautiful day to knock on the Kremlin door and ask is Len in?

[melv16]

Whoops, should've gone in jokes.

[Patsy33]

Lol! Loved Ken Dodd

[Chipchopper]

As a kid Ken would poke a cucumber through peoples letter box's and shout "THE MARTIANS ARE COMING"

[barry1010]

Take my hand, I'm a strange looking parasite

[iluvmargie]

Had some great nights out watching Ken Dodd, I laughed so much, I could barely catch my breath. A great trooper he was.

[bookbinder]

Ken Dodd's stage act used to go for such a long time that the audience missed their last bus home!

[carolegif]

He used to come on stage and say “I hope you brought a flask and sandwiches, we’ll be here for hours!”

[iluvmargie]

^ And he'd keep making jokey comments about it as the night wore on!

[Ken4155]

If not the best, then certainly on a par with anyone else. Only saw him once - show over-ran by an hour and 40 minutes. My sides ached for a week. And his jokes were of the 'silly' variety, yet still we laughed. "My father always knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was born , he took one look at me and said, "Is this a joke?".

[Ken4155]

Just had to Google him and have found a few of his daft, but brilliant, jokes.
"The man who invented Cat's Eyes got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat in his headlights. Had it been going the other way, he would have invented the pencil sharpener."
"It turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn't make the sound of a coconut."
"I'm a sex symbol for women who don't care."

[barry1010]

I saw one of his last live acts. Sadly, I wish I hadn't.

[iluvmargie]

Ha! I remember those jokes Ken. Once when I went to see him, he made a joke about sex (but of course being Ken Dodd it was anything but rude) and I laughed out loud at his silliness and he pointed to me and said 'there's a lady over there who knows what I'm talking about, don't you madam.' I was mortified.

[Ken4155]

He was interviewed quite regularly on both Granada Reports and BBC Northwest and he could never be serious for more than a few seconds. I remember one occasion where Lucy Meacock was laughing so much, she couldn't read the auto-cue and her male colleague had to come to her rescue. And you could just about hear Doddy still cracking jokes off camera.

[gollob]

Ken Dodd was asked do you practice safe sex . he said of course I do I have got a hand rail round the bed


Putting coloured sweets down somebodies trousers and saying what do you think of that Smartie pants

[marval]

I thought he was very good.

I did twenty five minutes running on the spot this morning, I had my braces caught in the banister.

[JimF]

I once put a steering wheel down me trousers. It drove me nuts all day.

Boom! Boom!

[iluvmargie]

If it's late and you don't know what time it is, go outside and start banging on a set of drums. Someone will open a window and shout 'who's that playing drums at 3 o' clock in the morning'??

[marval]

I used to think I was marvellous in bed until I discovered that all my girl friends suffered from asthma.