The Burglar
A burglar alarm sent out its piercing wail in the dark of night in Liverpool and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot. Soon, he was in court facing a grim-looking judge.
"Did you have an accomplice?" asked the judge.
"What's an accomplice?" the burglar replied.
"A partner. In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?"
"You're joking," demanded the culprit. "Who can get honest and reliable help these days?"