Entry Into Heaven
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day and both go up to the Pearly Gates to find out whether they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space available, so St. Peter has to decide which of them to let in.
He asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should be admitted into Heaven.
So Dolly takes off her bra and says, "Look at these babies. They're the most perfect breasts God ever created. I'm sure it would please Him to be able to see them every day for eternity."
St. Peter thanked Dolly and then asked Her Majesty the same question.
But the Queen merely went to the toilet to take a massive dump.
St. Peter said, "OK, Your Majesty, welcome to Heaven," and let her in instead of Dolly.
Dolly was outraged and said, "Hey, what was that all about? I show you two of God's finest, yet you turn me down and she gets in. Would you explain that one to me?"
"I'm terribly sorry, Ms Parton," said St. Peter, "but even in Heaven, a Royal Flush beats a pair, no matter how big they might be."