On A Flight
Taking his seat on a flight, a businessman is bemused to see a parrot in the next seat.
The plane takes off and the man asks the stewardess for a coffee. As he does, the parrot screeches, 'Yeah, and get me a double whisky too, you ugly cow!'
The stewardess walks off to get the drinks, but on her return has forgotten the man's coffee. She apologizes, and as she turns to get the coffee the parrot again squawks, 'Yeah, and get me another whisky you slack-tart!'
By now the stewardess is rattled, and she returns with the whisky, but again no coffee. The man, having observed the parrot's success, decides to try the rude approach. 'I've asked you for coffee twice!' he bellows, 'Now get your lazy butt back there and get me a cup of coffee.'
Moments later he and the parrot are dragged from their seats and thrown out of the emergency exit by two stewards. They plunge downwards for a few seconds, then the parrot looks at the man and squawks, 'For someone who can't fly, you've sure got a big mouth."