Drinking/alcoholism

[dancealot13]

I know that I drink too much, and yet I still continue to do it. Not a night goes by when I drink that I can't remember a portion of the evening. Im 24, and my entire family drinks quite a bit. I've made some very poor decisions when drinking, and I've decided to do something about it. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and if I keep drinking the way I do, I could loose him. I become a big flirt and very sexual. But its almost like another personality comes out, because I never remember anything. I guess I need some words of wisdom, or just hearing other peoples experiences. This has only been going on for a year, I mean I've always been a drinker, but never to this extent, and I don't want it to get worse. I don't drink every night, probably 3-4 times a week, but when I do I get totally drunk, I don't knkow when to stop. My sister is like this as well, but it doesn't bother her. I always feel guilty for drinking and for behaiving badly. I know that if my boyfriend saw me out when Im with my girlfriends he wouldn't always like what he saw. But its ONLY when I get drunk,...NEVER when Im sober. Any advice would be wonderful. Thank you.

[raysparx]

Cut it out while you can, it can only lead to problems, my dad used to drink far to much, have a chat with your boyfriend and find something else to do,, only you can stop it and you have got to want to stop it , you have taken the first step by asking advice on here so Good luck, hope it works for you, Ray

[Scarlett]

It is great that you have turned this corner. Like smoking or eating too much, any compulsive behaviour can be hard to stop, so you need to try and analyse the reasons why you drink too much. Is it to escape from reality? If so, what are you unhappy with? Can you change it? Is it boredom or loneliness? If so, try and find other more creative things to do on these 3-4 evenings. Or is it habit? This is the easiest one to break, but you need to change your evening pattern. Involve your friends in doing something different that doesn't involve drinking! Take up some kind of fun, adrenalin boosting sport together. Go for a long walk! Go to the Cinema. Go out for a nice meal. Do some volunteer work! Your life is too precious to waste on drinking, and your health too important. x

[Zorr0]

Dancealot, I have been trying to cut down on my beer for a couple of years. You get into a habit of "social" drinking.

Alcoholics drink generally by themselves,everyday,often from very early in the day. One of my mates is like that, drinking everyday by himself during the day because he works nights during the week. He got sacked from his last job for taking advantage of flexi time to go to the pub every lunch hour for 2 hours, drinking as much as 8 double whyskies during that time. We told him to make drinking JUST a social thing, Friday, Saturday & Sunday night. (He still takes no notice).

You should start a policy of not drinking during the week and take it from there.

I myself have tried to stay in on Friday nights, prefering Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons.

There is hardly a Saturday night goes by when Im not "away with the mixer", often not remebering exactly what I got up to. Often getting strange birds ringing me up a couple of days later, whom I do not remember meeting let alone getting off with. As long as its JUST one night a week as a norm that Im in that state, then thats not too much of a problem.

If you are getting in that state a lot, then it may be a problem.

[joby1]

I think it's really important to completely change your routine.

On the nights you don't want to drink, plan something to do, and make sure you eat, (It inhibits the I wanna drink feelin).

It's hard to do if you spend every night with someone who doesn't see it as a problem, in my office (culture) it is a big problem, and an easy routine to fall into. I have seen alot of relationship failures and work issues due to it, but at least you have realised!!

It is hard, anybody tells you otherwise is lying, Anyway, Good luck and keep busy!!

[andy-hughes]

Obviously you are aware that this is a problem, dancealot13 and that's a big step towards doing something about it.

On one of your normal nights out, why not go out with your friends to the places you would go, but drink soft drinks all night. Then look at the behaviour of the girls around you, and tell yourself "That's me, except not tonight, and not any more."

There's nothing like seeing drunken behaviour from a sober viewpoint to make you reailse that most people are either just foolish and faintly uncomfortable to be around, right up to incapable, ill, ugly, and violent. Then say to yourself, "Hopefully I am just the first, but I'm on my way to being the rest, and it's time to stop. Now."

Good luck.

[dancealot13]

To everyone that responded- Thank you.

Tonight I am going out because a friend of mine is here from out of state. I know everyone is going to drinking, but Im NOT. So I'll see what it's like for the first time to be around drunk people. Andy_Huges: And you're right, Im sure it will give me a good picture of what I look like when I drink too much, and It probably wont be pretty either. Have a great weekend everyone.

Cheers xxx

[patc7641]

I was in a similar position as yourself and could not get out of the routine of going out with friends drinking every week and getting totally caned. I was becoming a bad drunk and didnt like what was happening to me. I broke that circle by telling friends I was on a diet to lose weight ( I wasnt and didnt need to ) so I could only drink soft drinks when out. For the first 2/3 weeks I got a bit of ribbing, but I stuck with it and now when I am out and say Im not drinking nobody questions it. I feel a lot better in myself in that I can control what I drink and when. I do still occasionally drink but always to the extent that I am in control. I dont miss getting drunk and I certainly dont miss the hangovers and nightmare flashbacks. Wish I stopped years ago. Good luck.

[Scarlett]

dancealot-

It will probably be grim going out and not drinking. Can you compromise? Try alternating your drinks with a soft drink- orange juice or fizzy water. This will slow your drinking down. And the moment you feel yourself getting drunk, STOP. And when you feel "normal" again, go back to your drink. There is nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks with your friends! Being compulsive means you drink NOTHING, or everything. Avoid compulsive behaviour- no extremes! Just drink a bit, and be aware of how you are feeling.