Malapropisms

[docklands77]

What is your favourite malapropism? i.e. the world's your lobster

[brawburd]

"don't hedge your bushes" - courtesy of my mother, who has supplied many more over the years!!

[james dean]

how about uranus? obviously not when written out.

[james dean]

malapropism noun [C] the wrong use of one word instead of another word because they sound similar to each other, and which is amusing as a result

[andjac]

hysterical rectumy not very nice but quite funny

[treaclefight]

from my nan, when i came in soaking wet from freak thunderstorm, "i'll get you some cotton wool love, so's you can clean the massacre off your face"

[shybearuk]

One I heard a very long time ago, which may be a fake. Victorian era actress saying to her dastardly co-star 'You put one finger in me and I'll cream!'

[answerbok]

Freudian Slip; when you say one thing but mean your mother.

[RCP]

I used to share a house with a modern Mrs Malaprop and my favourite was (after she had set a chip pan on fire) "We really could do with a Fire Distinguisher". I had visions of a piece of equipment that we could send in to the kitchen and it would come back out and say "Yep, that's definitely a fire you've got there".

[boognish76]

I had a co-worker once who, after having to take the rap for an office cock-up, claimed she was being used as 'an escape goat'!

[football]

"Half a pound of tupenny rice, half a pound of treaclefight. Pop goes the Queen." "Pacific & Specific." Maybe the world is your lobster, but not a malapropism, just a variation of a popular phrase.

[Ember]

My daughter in Law, who always genuinely got words wrong, said of her son who had two malformed baby eye teeth "Look at him he's stood there like a little Jackular"

[jorton]

Dont wash your kippers in the canal

[BadlyHungBoy]

From my Nan: Look at those workmen, warming their hands round that brassiere. OK, I know how to get the e acute: how do I manage the grave?

[gazzawazza]

A former workmate of mine was walking with his mother when she spotted a clematis plant. She had him (and everybody else nearby) in fits of laughter when she loudly exclaimed, "Look at that beautiful cl*toris on that wall!!!"

[Uzoma]

Boil my icicle instead of oil my bicycle. I'm not sure if this one counts but my wife was talking to young people the other day about the rap/hip hop artist 'Half a dollar' - referring to 50 Cent.

[hal]

Uzoma - thats a spoonerism not a malapropism