Do you smack your kids??

[stevie1time]

Its a touchy subject nowadays and i just wanted to express my experience of it,but main question being,,,if you have done,have you felt an immense feling of guilt afterwards??? I am 35 and a single dad, i come from a Sikh background where the fathers are strict,ive got 3 brothers and 3 sisters who felt the wrath of my dads heavy drinking,,bullying and strictness,but not i..but thats another story for another day...I dont smack my kids..i have learned other ways of correcting them...BUT when i did smack them,i felt an unbelivably overwhelming feeling of wrong...just wanted some views on this..thanks X

[Ice.Maiden]

No I do NOT. Smacking just shows that you've lost control of the situation.

[pingu97]

My daughter is 4 and i very rarely smack her in fact i cant remebr the last time i did, but when she was a toddler i gave her the occasional tap on the hand although never enough to hurt her, more to shock her & let her know she was doing something wrong when just telling her off didnt work, i've never smacked her out of anger or frustration though i think thats where the problems come in, i have other successful ways of discipling her so have no need or desire to smack her, although i was smacked occasionally as a child when i did something really wrong, i dont feel any bad towards my mum now, i know how bad i was & she did what she had to do!

[ELVIS68]

Yes.... if they`ve done wrong they get a smack across the legs or arse
I`m not into all this bending down and speaking to them at eye level "supernanny" bollox

[Drisgirl]

I havent smacked them -I have tapped them to warn them off something -not to hurt them but just a gentle reminder that it was dangerous.(I didnt want then to put their hand in the fire to see that it hurt for example)
feel that if you smack then you are showing that the only solution to a problem is violence -just my opinion.

[babybow]

lol @ elvis
i agree a little slap for being unruly never did me any harm

[topogigo]

Smacking is just a sanitized form of physical assault, i am sickened by the sight of some thick single mother slapping her child in the street coz she has no concept of how to control her kids without some measure of pain or discomfort.. I think anyone that assaults their kids should come round to my house for a retaliatory kicking. See how they like it.

[topogigo]

Come to my house Elvis i'll slap your legs with an axe. You vicious creep.

[Petal~flower]

topogigo... how did you know she was a single mum?

[Ice.Maiden]

Well said tops! And pingu - a tap, as a warning to let your child know they're doing something very wrong or dangerous, is completely different from walloping them simply because they won't comply with your wishes.

[naughty Lou]

I think this is a debatable subject. The law states that you are not allowed to smack your kids. Which i agree with to a certain extent.
My wee boy has a bad habit of running across a busy road. He has done it on quite a few occassions. No matter what i say to him he doesn't listen, so the last time he did i smacked him. This got quite a few dissapproving looks off some folk, but at the end of the day i would much rather he had a hot bum than end up in hospital with serious injuries, or even worse.

[pingu97]

I agree Ice, that was kinda what i was trying to say!

[Redbel]

As a child..and coming from a big family.....mam would threaten us and say. "wait until your dad gets home", that in itself would scare the life out of us.....Mam would tell dad if we had given cheek...and dad would say.....no pocket money....

[stevie1time]

I agree top,yes a little tap if they are young for simple warning of danger,my older kids who are 11,13 boys,and my daughter who is at that stage at 14 where she knows everyhting and the world is against her...then NO,of course not..i basically just take away the things from them that mean the most( not us parents of course) mobile phones,X box etc etc..oh yes and i make them sit and watch the parliament channel for 2 hours before they can go do their thing..tends to work....

[jno]

like pingu and Drisgirl: only ever a slap on the back of the hand, not enough to hurt, just enough to grab his attention if he didn't seem to be listening to me. In later years it turned out he had bunged up ears and had to have grommets - so he really wasn't hearing me. I was so glad then that I'd never ever hit him to cause pain.

(My parents used to smack us, and I didn't like it though I never thought to question it. But I could never cause pain to a child and never have.)

Stevie, I'm glad you've got out of it, I know how hard it is when it's the way you've been disciplined yourself. But I always felt better for not doing it. Who would try to hurt someone smaller than themselves?

[Ice.Maiden]

*Parliament channel!!!! ha ha, that's a good one!

[topogigo]

How did i know she was a mum at all? How many times have you seen it done. You can tell the type and don't try to be clever by saying you can't.

[Drisgirl]

Ahem -cough Ice -I said that as well -so who is the big kid now (embarrassed -lol)

O me in case you picked that up wrong -lol

[Goodsoulette]

No, I don't and it really pees me off when people do it. All you do when you smack a toddler is reinforce it is ok to hit and if they are older then there are better ways of reasoning with them. I agree with Topogigo. Years ago it was considered ok to hit your wife, if she didn't do as she was told. If your tea wasnt on the table on time would you hit her now (even if it wasn't considered enough to hurt her)? No, you wouldn't, so why not treat our most precious things with the same respect.

I wholeheartedly believe that shouting at and smacking kids is bad parenting. Whether you turned out ok and you were smacked is neither here nor there, often an argument dished out in the smacking debate, It's about the whole package you provide in nurturing and loving your kids.

[ELVIS68]

topogigo, so smacking kids across the legs and arse is bad but you`ll slap my legs with an axe?

Is that not a form of physical assault?

[Goodsoulette]

Oh, and I'm a single mum.