love or luv

[sambro]

cuold anyone explain to me why women should be offended,if a bloke refers to them as love?

[bimbo123456]

In this mad PC world it could be construed as making an advance. Save "love" for people you love. Easy!! Incidentally, I have no problem with being called love as long as the men don't mind being called sugarplum!!!

[andy-hughes]

It can be construed as being patronising, even if it is not intended to be so.

The fact is, as a polite society, we should be mindful less of our intentions in using speech patterns, and more of the way they are received. I have always desteted being referred to as 'young man', I still get it now occasionally, and I am a grandad of 53! I also dislike being called 'mate' by strangers, it is a matter of receipt rather than transmission, so I would never refer to a woman as 'love' - it's not a phrase I use.

[weggiewabbit]

I�m totally with you on this, Andy, young man [LOL].

In some parts of the country, it�s quite usual for a man to call another man �love�, maybe mostly among the older generation ... it took me a while to get used to hearing that!

[fredpuli47]

Depends where you are and who is saying it. Here down in the South it comes across as patronising, over familiar and even insulting like calling a grown man 'son' (the latter is acceptable if the speaker is a much older man and the 'son' is a boxer fighting at the time. Otherwise even much older men use it carefully).

Up in Manchester it seems an everyday and standard form of address.

[jake-the-peg]

Fred's right it's patronising.

Would you like being called "son" by say a plumber or mechanic?

Same thing

[toby99]

I do not find it offensive at all and indeed find it quite endearing, especially from the older generation. I suppose I never really siged up to women's lib though! However, I have heard it from many female shop assistants lately and that makes me cringe.

[brionon]

When I come to England on my annual visit I always get a feeling of pleasure when a shop assistant calls me love.

[D143237G]

In my part of deepest Dorset it is ofter my dear, or my dears. It is used by both sexes but said only on arrival and departing as in Hello my dear(s), Goodbye my dear(s). Never in the middle of a conversation. Also again by the older generations.
My grandparents, great uncles etc all born over 110 years ago and now long gone used to call address those they didn't know by name 'Snow'. I have no idea why or how this came about. I dread to think how this would now be interpreted by members of the ethnic minorities. A possible new thread here. Would you be insulted or happy to be called 'snow' by an unknown kindly old man?

[persianlady]

Honestly!!!! Get a life you people who are offended by this. It is an age old friendly term. It is not meant to be patronising, and should not be taken as such. Perhaps it is peculiar to the north as someone pointed out, but so what? Should we stop saying it for fear of offending someone who is not familiar with the term? I think not. If someone from the south thinks that we should, then I would have to say that I find some southern accents really annoying and would prefer it if they did not speak at all. LOL. It is getting increasingly difficult to open your mouth in this country these days without offending someone. Come on!!

[andrea81]

I'm a woman and not offended if I know it's not meant to patronise, some do it on purpose though and them I could slap over the face with a wet fish!

Don't like people younger than me doing though, my nephew had a clip accross the ear for it!

[gallapunk]

I grew up in Yorkshire and everyone called each other love there, so it was just a normal thing, not offensive at all. Where I lived for the past 20 years, no one uses it in everyday language - except for old guys (I don't know why) or young shop assistants and I DO find that VERY annoying, so yes, wet fish round the face for them from me too, definitely. Ooooooo, I wish I could. Would I get arrested?

[meglet]

Persianlady

"Should we stop saying it for fear of offending someone who is not familiar with the term?"

Erm yes. Language and the perception of terms evolve. My nan thought nothing of calling black people "darkies". She meant no harm by it but it wouldn't be accepted now. In polite society one should always be aware of how names we use could be taken nowadays.

[EngTeach]

I look at it like this: Only women who still can get a "cat call" or be called love find it offensive. Some day the men will stop and realizing why is depressing. (LOL)

[Ice.Maiden]

Oh dear.....
I don't give out terms of endearment like "love" or "duck" (which seems common in the Midlands) - or "bab" which's common in Birmingham, but I DO say "sweets, sweetheart and sweetie" - as perhaps you've noticed, and it's not meant in a patronising way at all. Sorry - but I have to agree with Persianlady, because i just can't understand the offence in a word which's meant in a friendly manner.

[hau kola]

I find it patronising especially from some cold caller on the end of the phone who doesnt even know me.

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, I see your point there hau, but again - it's just acceptable in some parts to use words like that, whether from a stranger or not, but I have to agree a little, that from a stranger on the phone, it comes across as being a bit too "familiar".

[meglet]

Hau Kola, I think that is the point. Its too familiar unless you know someone well enough to use an affectionate term.

[hau kola]

Yes,i dont mind it from somebody i know,but when its some bit of a kid i find it quite laughable.

[Ice.Maiden]

Exactly meglet - and apart from that, I see no wrong in it. It's not as if the words are vulgar or unfriendly.

[fredpuli47]

Never mind 'love'or 'son', what I find irittating is salesmen and 'advisers' calling me straight off by my Christian name, instead of Mr or sir. Perhaps I'm getting old at sixty, but I find there's an undertone of fake friendliness to it, as well as a lack of professionalism. I'm not the bloke's brother or mate down the pub, I'm his customer, the man who's, ultimately, paying his salary and who deserves a llittle respect.