Need a joke

[coccinelle]

I need a really good clean joke to write in my Christmas cards. Can anybody come up with something? As I say clean, so no sex involved. Hope somebody comes up with something. It has to be really good and funny though....

[lilsecret]

Mummy, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?

No you can have turkey like everyone else !

[lilsecret]

What did one Christmas light say to the other Christmas light?
You light me up!

------


A definition of Christmas:
The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.

[marval]

What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
"I don't like sprouts!"

[coccinelle]

Please keep them coming as I haven't chosen one yet.

[baitress]

go to jokes sectionand see McMouse entry on Wed 11nov
@ 1442 re area 51.
funny and clean

[zzxxee]

How does rudolph know when christmas is comeing?
He looks on his calan-deer

[jim098007]

MONEY'S TIGHT, TIMES ARE HARD, HERES YOUR BLOODY CHRISTMAS CARD!

[Graham-W]

Why do dogs eat grass?

They haven't got the thumbs to roll a joint!!!!!

[coccinelle]

thank you some funny one's there

[Clanad]

Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.' What denomination?' asked the clerk. 'Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?' said Maria, 'Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please.'

[Clanad]

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a butcher and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

[karenmac60]

My Grampa's favourite Xmas joke was - what did Mrs Claus say to Santa? Come in out of the rain dear.

[coccinelle]

Awww, karen mac isn't that so sweet!

Anymore anybody?

[marval]

Here are a few.

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he is always stuffed!

What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
Your teeth

We had grandma for Christmas dinner.
Really, we had turkey!

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even