Insulting behaviour!

[gazzawazza]

Ok, what's the best insult you've ever heard? Did you say it? And what's the worse you've been on the end of?

[rekstout]

'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!' - Monty Pyton's Quest for ther Holy Grail

[karstdejong]

"We are the light at the end of your sorry little tunnel" Andrew Eldritch insulting the London audience in 1998. More here: http://www.the-sisters-of-mercy.com/gen/aequotes.h
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[FTVS]

Brigette Jones Diary upon finding another woman in her boyfriends bathroom, the woman says "I thought you said she was thin"

[thebraveboy]

Your mother is so fat, I had sex with her, rolled over twice and was still on top of her.

[andy hughes]

The best I heard was from commedian Jeff Green - "He looked like Andrew Lloyd Webber licking p*'s off a nettle!" Worst I've received was being accused of making a racist remark to a black colleague. We sorted it out, but I was deeply upset by the notion that anyone would ever think I had a race issue with anyone.

[jjf2003]

"She has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp" (Sid the Sexist in Viz).

[Cactus]

"When they circumcised you, they threw away the best bit." - Phoenix Nights (Jerry to a heckler in the audience)

[xyzzyplugh]

"Well, of course, this is just the sort of blinkered philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement! You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic handshakes. You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards! Well I wouldn't become a Freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking, purulent knees and begged me." MontyPython. Architects sketch.

[rja211077]

'She's so fat her blood type is Ragu' - from The Sopranos

[Cactus]

"You're so dumb you have to take your #&$� out to count to eleven." - Tip; only works when insulting a man.

[Shelley 2002]

When you were a child, you were so ugly, your mother had to tie a pork chop to your head, just so that the dog would play with you.

[ReverendMat]

In response to being called fat: "I'm only this fat because every time I have sex with your mum she insists on baking me a cake/pie".

[MrPooHead]

She had a face like a part-chewed caramel.

[honkytonkman]

Paul Whicker (the Tall Vicar) to Mrs Goatbag the cleaner in Viz): "The size of your brain is inversely proportionate to the size of your bloated sow-like body".