help with my ex girlfriend

[antonyb]

Hello, my girlfriend recently called an end to our relationship for the third time in a year. Without the break ups we have been together 4 years. I used to be verbally abusive to her and scared he on occasions with violence, i used to cheat on her also and she left me the first time. I have owned up to my mistakes and stopped all that and have never done it again and never will. But out the blue she forgave me and asked me back. this was last june, we lasted a couple of months till her ex boyfriend got back in contact and turned her against me. She decided after a couple of months he was not welcomed by her family and again we got back together. now we have broken up again because of my jealousy and insecurities, i always thought her ex was still in the picture and that she wanted him. she always said he was not in the picture and that i should trust her. she had enough of me going on and called it a day. we are still in contact -mainly for our son but we do text occasionally and i ring every night to say good night to our son. she keeps telling me she loves me deep down but at the moment she has no feelings for me. I really do love her i realized that after we split the first time, i never harmed her, called her names or cheated but couldn't get the jealousy out my mind, always thinking she was cheating on me. she said that her ex boyfriend always treated her right and i think thats why i thought what i did. I want her back and to trust me as she doesn't believe much that i say. I have admitted to all my flaws, apologized and told her i can change for the better but she wasn't having any of it. She says i annoy her with me always going on. I am 24 she is 22. How can i get her back?? What can i say?? I know that we can work i really do. please only serious replies i really need help with this. Thank you

[woofgang]

serious answer. Walk away.

[woofgang]

Really serious answer....really walk away.

[saxy_jag]

I agree. Seriously, this will go on and on as long as you stay together. Move on, get yourself straight and learn from your mistakes.

[Old_Geezer]

First thing to say is that anyone who has invested in a relationship and developed strong feelings will not want to see it end, but that does not mean that keeping it going is the right thing to do. Sometimes it is better overall to draw a line and start afresh.

The other thing is that one can't really convince another to stay in a relationship that they are not happy with. Ultimately it is something both individuals need to want to repair, or it simply isn't going to work. There is no magic phrase you can use, it takes two, not one.

You admit to having had, or more to the point still having problems. Indeed the list isn't short, including verbal abuse, scaring the one you say you love with violence, jealousy, insecurity, lack of trust. Seriously if your partner was like that would you consider it a recommendation ? I think you need to solve your list of problems first and then go look for someone who unquestionably wants your company, not one who is finding it difficult to get away.

Sort yourself out first, then go find someone else. The odds must be against your ex giving it yet another go after all the aborted reunions so far.