some odds and ends

[rowanwitch]

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

One idiot says to second idiot "Christmas is on Friday this year". second idiot said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar?

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.

A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."

Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.

[redman41]

Good ones Rowan !! :-)))

[missprim]

Have seen a few of these before but the ones I haven't seen made me chuckle.

[marval]

I like them

[starone]

LOL - very good.