I'll....

[carrust]

...Heat my cat as soon as I find out what a Spoonerism is.......

[mike11111]

Dr Spooner on the occasion of Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee: "Let us drink to the health of the Queer Old Dean".

[mazie]

Hi Mike...Where have you been? Haven't seen you around for ages. Hope you are well?

[JonnyBoy12]

Ha ha. Fery vunny!

[mike11111]

I am well but my laptop wasn't. Accidentally poured on it not one, but two large gins and tonic, at which point it decided to have the mother of all hangovers. I am only back thanks to the brilliant bloke in the computer shop up the road. Even he was surprised that he managed to get it working again. Most expensive drink I've ever had! I didn't know which to cry over first, the spilt gin or the poorly laptop.

[grasscarp]

Mike explain. You can spill one drink, but how can you then spill another. If you had two lined up to drink and accidentally knocked them over you are my kind of ABer!

[mike11111]

On expelling a student from university he said:
"You have tasted a whole worm. You have hissed all my mystery lectures and you must leave Oxford tonight by the town drain."

[mazie]

The G&T...I couldn't start me evening without one....Anyway, It's great to have you back xx

[mike11111]

It's quite simple Grasscarp. Firstly you need to consume 4 or 5 large gins and tonic. Then you replenish your glass, trip and pour the first one over the computer. You try to mop it up and, nothing daunted go for a refill. At this point you repeat the performance and reluctantly admit that you may have a slight drink problem.

[grasscarp]

thoroughly approve Mike. My name is grasscarp and I am an alcoholic.......

[mazie]

LOL, Can I join this club :o) My name is mazie (well it's not really)

[grasscarp]

Sorry for thread creep carrust. I am one of your biggest fans and enjoy all your jokes. Mazie of course you can join. I sometimes dont drink at all for a wee while but it depends how bearable your life is stone cold sober!

[mike11111]

Only those who go to the meetings have the right to call themselves alcoholics. The rest of us are p!ss-artists.

[carrust]

Oi! Gerroff my thread you drunken shower :-)

[mazie]

I have to have my nightly G&T grasscarp (just the one of course)...just makes the evenings a little rosier...I'm nearly always stone cold sober, but I do like the fuzziness around the edges sometimes

[chelle7272]

hear hear mazie :)

[grasscarp]

me too Mazie (on my third glass of Sainsbury Liebfraumilch). Sorry carrust.