News2 mins ago
The Parrot.
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and see's a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy say's aloud, Jaysus, I wonder what happened to this parrot.
The parrot says, ' I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot. 'Bloody hell the guy replies.
' You actually understood and answered me. !'
' I got every word, 'says the parrot. I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'
'Oh yeah'? the guy asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang on to your perch, without any feet.?'
'Well the parrot says, ' this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy.
'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you. ?'
'Actually' I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics and philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks a the £200 price tag, Sorry but I can't afford that.'
'Psssssst ,' says the parrot, ' I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.!'
The guy makes a £20 offer and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes 'Psssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
' I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman.'
'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer Black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
'THEN what happened ?'
'Well he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over, 'reported the parrot.
'NO !' he exclaims, 'and she let him ?'
'Yes.
Then he continued taking of the nightie, got down on his knee's and, and began to kiss her all over.
Then the frantic guy , demands ' THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'
DUNNO !?! I got an erection, and fell of my perch.!'
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy say's aloud, Jaysus, I wonder what happened to this parrot.
The parrot says, ' I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot. 'Bloody hell the guy replies.
' You actually understood and answered me. !'
' I got every word, 'says the parrot. I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'
'Oh yeah'? the guy asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang on to your perch, without any feet.?'
'Well the parrot says, ' this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy.
'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you. ?'
'Actually' I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics and philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks a the £200 price tag, Sorry but I can't afford that.'
'Psssssst ,' says the parrot, ' I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.!'
The guy makes a £20 offer and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes 'Psssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
' I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman.'
'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer Black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
'THEN what happened ?'
'Well he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over, 'reported the parrot.
'NO !' he exclaims, 'and she let him ?'
'Yes.
Then he continued taking of the nightie, got down on his knee's and, and began to kiss her all over.
Then the frantic guy , demands ' THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'
DUNNO !?! I got an erection, and fell of my perch.!'
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