Scottish Banter

[maggiebee]

Translation provided if required!


A Glesga Burd goes tae the social tae register fur child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the civil servant?

"10" replies the girl.

"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"

"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec

"Doesn't that get confusing?" "

Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.

"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"

[Svejk]

lol. the jocks'll be after you, Maggie.

[janbee]

very good Maggie.
Another one for you - a man walks into a butcher's shop in winter. The butcher is standing at an electric heater. The man says "is that your Ayrshire bacon"? and the butcher says "naw, it's just ma hands am warmin! "

[janbee]

Another oldie for you - a woman goes into a bakery and says to the assistant "is that a doughnut or a meringue"? The assistant says "naw, yer right, it's a doughnut".
I know I know ... groan.! I told you it was an oldie