I Have 3 Kids By A Man And He Just Found Out About Them. What Will He Do?

[BabyCrazy]

Please don't judge. So I've been having sex with this man since I was 18. It started freshman year in college. He was a junior. It wasn't anything serious, we'd just hook up occasionally. I got pregnant by him with my first child around the 5th time we had sex and hadn't seen him for a month afterwards. When I found out I was pregnant I considered telling him but at that time he had just gotten a girlfriend, so I saw no real point to tell him he was about to have a kid when he was pursuing a relationship. I dropped out of school and worked as a waitress for a bit to make ends meet. My mom wanted nothing to do with me so I was in it alone. After my son was born I was having trouble paying the bills so I caved and took a job as stripper. I know, here come the insults. So after about 2 years of stripping and making decent money to support my son one night while I'm working in walks you guessed it baby daddy. He was at his bachelor party and was getting married tomorrow. At first I was pretty embarassed and tried to hide, but my boss called me out to come dance and that's when he saw me. He pulled me aside and we talked for a bit but of course I didn't mention my son. He was more interested in why I had dropped out and what I was doing here. Told him that my mom sick and just needed extra cash to pay for medical bills. That seemed to convince him, and we talked more and one thing ledn to another and we ended up having sex again unprotected. my birth control failed and then I became pregnant with my daughters (twins). I hadn't seen him for 3 more years until he came by a diner i work the day shift at. He was with his wife and she was pregnant. We of course acted like we didn't know each other until my son's pre-school teacher and my friend dropped him off early from her pre-school and my son came running up to me and gave me hug. My son looks just like Chad. Almost identical. When he saw my son and my expression I guess he figured something wasn't right.
I tried to avoid him, but I saw him excuse himself from his wife and then in private he pulled me aside and asked about my son. I figured there was no point in lying anymore since he was already suspicious. So I told him the truth that yes my son was biologically his. he was mad and asked why didn't I tell him about him etc. then after he seemed to have calmed down i let the other secret out that we had 2 daughters as well from the night we hooked up before his wedding. At that, he blew a fuse Report
7min At first he thought I wasn't serious, but I told him the truth and said that No that I had 3 children by him. He looked at me incredulousy and just shook his head and walked away and then he went back to his wife placed some cash on the table and then he left with his wife. I could hear his wife ask him what was wrong, but I didn't hear his reply. I'm worried what will he do?

[ummmm]

What can he do?

[ladyalex]

What are you worried about?


As to what he will do, you're the one who knows him.

[Rtaxron]

I suppose he could give you some child maintenance!

[Old_Geezer]

Everyone's an individual and makes their own decisions. If he was as truly angry at not being informed and allowed to be part of his children's life as you say, he just disappearing seems unlikely. I'd guess he'd want to stay in touch and for his children to know he's their father. But only time will tell what it is he actually opt to do.

[Deskdiary]

You're pitching your film plot to the wrong audience.

Try www.universalpictures.com

[TWR]

We all make mistakes, the trouble is the woman bears the evidence, ( The child ) Just get on with your life.

[Peter Pedant]

TWR - she made the mistake more than once

anyway the q was - what will he do ?

nothing I think

[Baldric]

http://www.circleofmoms.com/welcome-circle-moms/i-have-3-kids-and-the-father-just-found-out-about-them-he-s-married-905486

[mikey4444]

How can you be sure that the kids are his ?

And for that matter, didn't he put two and two together at some time in the last few years ?

[mikey4444]

From your phraseology, I presume you are American ?

If all you tell us true, I am not sure what he can do. I don't think he can demand a DNA test, and even if he does, if you were in Britain, this could lead him to be parting with a considerable part of his income. Do you want money from him ?

[Baldric]

From the Link @ 0748

/// I'm not asking any support///

[B00]

If he's any sense, he'll run far and fast and pray he doesn't bump into you again :-)

[douglas9401]

I think he'll appear one day soon on his white charger and whisk you off to his castle where you'll all live happily ever after.

[Bathsheba]

@ Boo...Lol :)

x x

[EDDIE51]

If you were in the UK the law says he MUST by law pay maintenance for his children until they reach 18. I assume you are in the USA .
As you did not tell him anything until too late I can't see this as his fault.
I think that every child deserves to have a father who is part of their life but I can see that may be hard in this case.
I would try to find some way of contacting him privately and asking what he wants to do. He sounds a decent guy and if you had told him what was happening he may well have supported you.
In my view he and the children at least deserve the chance to know about each other and form some kind of relationship.
I do not condemn you in any way for taking a job that paid enough to support your children , you should be commended for doing it.
My advice is to try and find a way to contact him privately and ask what he wants to do. Then take it from there.

[Peter Pedant]

.

Eddie - is she in the UK ? you know like Rotherham or somewhere where it all goes on. and i think the only person who would have jurisdiction would be someone like Judge Judy ( ex family judge I note )

what will HE do - I think nothing - I mean he hasnt exactly been pro-active in the past has he ?

This is one of the most difficult qustions we have had on answerbank