Difficult Decision Re Dughter's Operation

[bednobs]

My 3 yer old hs congenital divergent squint in one eye( her eye wanders outwards). The opthalmologist told us today tht she would need n opertion to help to correct it. However, this op would be just for cosmetic reasons, and it won't improve her eyesight,
The opthalmologist was quite keen for her to have it, saying tht kids can get bullied if they look any different to the norm (it's really noticeble)
how to decide if she should have an "unecassary" op?
i favour waiting till she's old enough to decide herself, but are kids really that horrible?

[rockyracoon]

Yep, some kids really are that horrible.

I don't envy your decision making.

[ladyalex]

Can the ophthalmologist point you in the direction of another parent who has made this decision so that you can talk it over with someone who knows all about it?
I suppose I am saying, is there a support group of any kind ?

[pastafreak]

I'd have it. I was born with a squint,had surgery at 8...much later than it's done now. There was a bit of "overcompensation" by the surgeon...my eye wanders in now. I do not have stereoscopic vision...ie- my eyes do not focus together. I may as well have just the dominant eye.
Apparently if the surgery was done when I was younger,I'd not have such a problem.
And yes...kids are that horrible.

[Prudie]

Yes kids will pick on anything that doesn't fit the norm, although I don't think they realise how mean it is like an adult would. If the risks are low I’d probably opt for now if only because it's maybe less traumatic than say when she's 10 or whatever age that she's likely to want it fixed. It is a hard decision for you though.

[237SJ]

i would go for it. Apart from averting the childhood bullying, she will feel a lot better when she is a typical self-conscious teenager and she doesn`t have a squint.

[sherrardk]

Kids (but not all of them) can be vile even if there is nothing obvious to pick on. Is it a straight forward operation or are there any associated risks? If it's a 'run of the mill' operation I think I'd do it sooner rather than later.

[Sammy48]

In my experience not only kids can be cruel but some small minded parents aswell.

I would not hesitate in having it done. xx

[askyourgran]

It seemed to be a common complaint years ago, a cousin and a nephew of mine had corrective surgery while they were quite young 5/6? year old can't remember how old they were exactly. Children can be so cruel it would be better to have the op before they become the butt of jokes among their schoolfriends.

[tamborine]

My nephew had same op at 5y. He's now 24 with perfect vision & no stigmatism. Have the op asap & while you can monitor aftercare of eye drops. Good luck

[DaisyNonna]

Unfortunately children can be that horrible

[Sqad]

You are quite correct..........difficult decision indeed which I am glad that I do not have to make.
Just one point........when done in children the recurrence rate is about 50% requiring further surgery.

[B00]

agree with all of the above.

yes children can be vicious towards each other, especially girls. i think if you don't go ahead with it, you and more importantly she, will regret it in later life, especially when the vain teen years happen.

[murraymints]

agree with the majority..do it now before school..brother had it done no probs..

[TWR]

Beds, the world is full of nasty people / children, for your child's sake you have to make the decision, & make the decision now, It's not what you hear but what but what your child will encounter, at her age it may not effect her, but it time it will, put yourself in your child's shoes, if you could hear what other children say, would you like it? make the right decision, & make it soon x

[Arrods]

I suffered a squint for many years into adulthood. Just learned to live with it, possibly stemming from a fear of surgery. It was not until I was encouraged by someone who had his squint corrected to get something done.

Appointment made at NHS hospital. Consultant said "When would you like it done?" A week later, surgery undertaken.

Being able at long last to make proper eye contact with people did wonders for my confidence, my social life and, probably, career. If only I'd had it done much earlier.

I hope this is helpful from a sufferer's perspective.

[wolf63]

I had the operation done when I when I was 18 months old (about 1965) but never had stereo vision after the operation.

I had it done again when I was 32ish as I was getting headaches at work. It was squinting pretty obviously at this stage.

20 Years down the line it is wandering again but I am not going to bother with another op.


Good luck with whatever decision you make.

[chrissa1]

I would definitely get it done, bednobs. Especially in this world that children are growing up these days.

[jackthehat]

About 80% of Mrs JTHs paternal family were born with a squint.
She is the only one who underwent surgery to correct it.
It occasionally comes back.....when she's very tired, or very drunk.....LoL

She's grateful that she had the surgery although she was still very small when she had it done.

[hc4361]

My cousin had this op as a toddler over 40 years ago, cured the problem for her.

When I was a child the doctors wanted to break some bones in my leg and reset it but my parents refused. I do wish they hadn't.