Embarrassed And Fuming In Equal Measure

[DarceyK123]

Well I spoke too soon the other day when I said my Mum was very healthy dispite her 60 a day smoking habit.

She was getting very breathless yesterday so I rang 111 who decided to call her an ambulance.

Two paramedics visited and started to do some checks. One asked if she smoked when the other piped up "course she does, I could smell it as soon as I came though the door".

I was really fuming at the time, how rude!

Thinking on it now I am embarrassed, I suppose health care people must get fed up with people smoking and then complaining they can't breath and in a way I agree.

But I do think it was very rude and unprofessional to comment on someone's home.

My son is a Policeman and has to deal with all kind of people across the spectrum (as do ambulance staff) but would never dream of saying something like this.

I suppose we should be grateful he was honest?

[Mamyalynne]

They are people like anyone and some more direct than others - I have had occasion to step back at the bluntness of at least one myself.

Most importantly, how is Mum?

[Prudie]

Yes it was rude - trouble is smokers seem to be the only 'group' that's it's still acceptable to openly be downright rude about - they are certainly the most insulted on here - filthy, disgusting, stink etc (I'm a smoker).

[DarceyK123]

She fine now thanks, they put her on a nebuliser and was home in 5 hours.

Probably won't put her off though dispite my nags and this warning.

[tonyav]

I've had two nurses ( in the recent past, one last week ) ask me if I smoke and how many a day. Both said 'Don't worry I'm not going to give you a lecture because I smoke to'.

And yes, Darcey it was rude.

[johnny.5]

it may have been rude
but probably said to put your mum as ease and to try and encourage them to stop smoking
sometimes its s just a little comment that can make the difference not consistent nagging from a loved one that cares

maybe !

[bednobs]

i dont think it was rude per se.
If an ambulance person had asked me if i had dogs, then smeone had replied as they did about your mum, it might make me try to make my house smell nicer.
In any case, it's not up to you to feel embarrassed or fuming - they weren't talkig about your place

[david small]

60 a day. Yea Gods, that’s £30 a day £210 a week £900
A month, £10,800 a year. Tax on that she’s paying she should have her own ambulance:)

[woofgang]

I do think it was rude...and if anybody commented that my house smelled because I have dogs, I would think that was rude too. As people who visit houses for a living will tell you (I was one for many years) EVERY HOUSE SMELLS OF SOMETHING. Noseblindness is a thing and if you live with a smell its possible to stop noticing it. If you drink beer or whiskey on a regular basis, cook curries or use garlic, use a deep fryer, ride, colour or use some other products on your hair, and many many other things then you and your house will smell of it to someone who does not live there. Unless there is a genuine need to comment, like smelling burning, then its not polite to comment directly. If the smell might be down to a continence issue then its something to keep in mind and maybe investigate very tactfully at an appropriate time. Same with body and breath smells...sometimes its diagnostic and needs tactful investigation otherwise keep schtum.

[nailit]

It wasn't the paramedics job to comment on the smell of your mums home. It was their job to treat her, smoker of not.
Imagine if it was a fat person that they were called out to with stomach problems and one asked what they had eaten recently and the other replied ''Chips, I could smell the pan as soon as I walked through the door''

[DarceyK123]

Thanks everyone, It won't put her off, nothing will as I've said in the othe post. She did say to me after "what's it got to do with him, it's my house" so maybe it did touch a nerve, won't stop her though.

Bednobs, I know it's not my house but I do help her clean but obviously not well enough.

[murraymints]

Not nice...supposed to treat patients without judgement... I'd be miffed too..

[albaqwerty]

Yes, it was rude.
Is this paramedic psychic?
A different family member might have been the smoker for all they knew.

[DarceyK123]

Haha, Nailit, you are so right.

A friend of mine did have a battle with a furniture Company after they inspected her sunken chair and said she may be too heavy for it!!! She is a little on the large side so she was both upset and humiliated,

but to make matters worse it wasn't even the chair she sat in, it was the visitors chair.

[johnny.5]

lol darcy
shallow hal ?

[Barmaid]

He was insensitive. He was rude for answering a question addressed to your mother and rude for speaking across her as if she was not there/mute/stupid. He was probably well intentioned and trying to lighten the situation.

[Old_Geezer]

Unfortunate, not polite, but sounds like an inevitable retort when someone asks a daft question. They probably couldn't help themselves before it was said and too late.

[Eleena]

In this instance unprofessional. I agree with OG. On a personal level ( the smell of the home) .. I wouldn't have been offended, it is as it is.

[waterboatman]

I gave up smoking when the price went up to 3/6d for twenty!

[ummmm]

Very rude. I had a paramedic out to me after a 111 call and he didn't even ask if I smoked, he just started treating me.

[Sqad]

It was inappropriate at best, but in the circumstances of an emergency medical situation with a woman fighting for breath and needing oxygen it was certainly not an unnatural comment.
The other factor is that people have different ideas of what rudeness, really is and for example , on many occasions, I have been called "rude" on AB for what I believed to be innocent comments.
Haven't we all?
Embarrassed and fuming .......LOL..fuming was the wrong word there.