Missing my man

[Monkey2007]

My Fiancee has a great job and brings in enough money to keep us comfortable but he works really long hours and I miss him like crazy. He's just started a new job and often works from 7am till 10 pm with an hour and a half break in the afternoon. He can do this for 6 or 7 days in a row and since it's too far to travel each day he stays away and is only home on his days (or day) off. We want to get a house closer to his work within the next month so he can come home at night but even then, by the time he gets home in the evenings and has had a shower, I'm struggling to stay awake for more than an hour and a half. He will sit watching TV till 2am and on his days off he needs at least a morning to himself or he'd never have any private time.

I'm really proud of him and I love him more than anything but I miss him like crazy. I know other people have reationships like this and I was wondering how you cope??

[vicars]

Just wanted to say aww! Lucky bloke.

[jno]

I've got to admire his stamina, but I wonder if it's good for his health - and his relationships. Do you think this is going to continue long-term? If so, you might both like to consider whether it's really, really worth it. The work-life balance seems a bit out of kilter here.

[xhxmxsx]

me and my fiance live together , he gets up at 6am and drives to his work colleague (they're self employed) drive to the yard pick up their equipment then they have to drive to where there first job is by 8am, they normally work between 30 and 90 mins away from our home, they have a minimum of 8 jobs and can have maximum of 14
sometimes if the traffic is bad or they have had alot of hard jobs they wont be back till 10pm but earliest he ever gets home is 7:30 , when he gets home he eats and then falls asleep, it is difficult but he is doing it to earn the money so we can save for our future, it is a pain in the **** but it wont always be like that, only advice i can give you is to make sure every moment he's not at work u spend together

[WendyS]

I think the question you need to ask yourself is "Does my fiance really have to work this hard, or is he a workaholic?" If this is how it's going to be for the remainder of his time in this job I wonder whether it's really worth it in terms of your own relationship. Most relationships can sustain this kind of separation for short bursts of necessary work pressure but as a long term strategy it is not healthy, especially if in his time off he needs private space away from you to recover. All you can do in the shorter term is find some new interests, hobbies or social contacts to keep you occupied while he's not around. But do you really want to be living like this in ten years time?

[Monkey2007]

Thanks for all your answers. He works as a Head Chef which means he has to do those hours much of the time to fit in with peoples breakfast/lunch/dinner. He says it will get a bit better when he's been there longer because he will sort out the rota's but he will still be working a minimum of 50 hours a week most likely. He says it's for our future. He wants to slow down and have kids eventually but next January we are going to Bermuda where he will be head chef in a 5* hotel and thats likely to be some crazy hours too. He said we may spend about 3 to 5 years there and then he wants to slow down. I guess though that the most important thing is that I'm with him even if I don't see him much because I know I wouldn't leave him over it. I just wish he was around a bit more.

[priorylisa]

Hi Monkey. Well i work long hours too.My partner has a new business and we have a child. We seem to work it out. When i need alone time its ok for him. He tends to our daughter and when we have time together we make sure that it is always fruitfull.We spend every spare waking hour together (which is not a lot) but it is quality. We rarly watch tv so we can talk and go out for trips out every now and then.It seems to work ok..I understand how frustrating it can be. Move closer to his work. Just make sure it is finantially viable... hope this helps x