Mad over Fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open


Welcome one and all, old and older, mad and madder to our delightful club.

We have been experiencing some difficulties here at the Club HQ with the electrical apparatus , notably the light switches. The only explanation given so far by the electrical tradesman is 'gremlins'.
Consequently, members are warned to be very careful with water this week.


So far for the raffle we have :

1 sporran (badger head still relatively intact)
4 brass buttons (in need of polish)
a tube of fruit gums (only orange ones )

[tonyav]

Hang on is a bards size bucket bigger than a bucket sized bucket ?

[ladyalex]

A flagon of Zoom is the answer to most nervous complaints, I find.
So I'll have another when the butler has time .

Do you have electrical skills as well as plumbing ones, tony ?
Or any knowledge of gremlins ?

[DTCwordfan]

thank you oh great Maj and purveyor of the Mamyan 'cocks.

[ladyalex]

Steady , DT....

[DTCwordfan]

course it is, mr tony, as one has to contemplate the scenes in front of ye bard for "les inscriptions et reflections plus *** (later)"

[DTCwordfan]

t-ard is a cuss word apparently....

[tonyav]

Afraid not your Ladyship, but one word of advise never allow water to touch a Gremlin.

[Lie-in King]

Your flagon, m'lady...

Sir, a bucket is as a bucket does, I find...

That's it m'lady, get him signed on as sparks as well...

[Mamyalynne]

Oh no, must get Alfie to a place of safety.

[starone]

I haven't visited lately but thought I would just drop in to see how things were going, mainly because my television has decided not to work and it is very boring without it. On my way in I had a look at the prizes for the riffle and have a couple of comments. First someone has been trying out Lie-in King's elastic bands and most of them are broken and secondly can you assure me that this poop-scoop has not been used, it smells a bit iffy. Is this poncho going spare? I could do with something round my poor old shoulders. Are you sure these fruit gums haven't been sucked?

[ladyalex]

Thank you , tony.
Was that one of the secrets you were told when you joined the secret society of pipe-wranglers and lavvy-divers?

[tonyav]

It was, your Ladyship.

[ladyalex]

Thank you , Maj. These Zooms are delish.

Welcome back, starbucky...lovely to see you again.
How on earth did you find the butler's cranny ?

[Lie-in King]

Good evening miss Starbuckone - miss flump's poncho is most certainly not "going spare". It may be a little crazy, that's all...

Your flagon, miss.

[Mamyalynne]

Hi Starby, am sure the gums are only slightly sooked, still have flavour - cannot and will not comment on pooper scoopers, Maj has the low down on Ponchos etc.

[Lie-in King]

M'lady, I fear the plumber's greatcoat managed to unlock the door from the inside. I have applied a sturdy chain.

[nungate]

Greetings to all here present, what a filthy night! Shall I leave my sou'wester in the vestibule Milady? The llama is back in his usual spot in the stables.
Did I hear you were having a problem with gremlins? I friend once recommended keeping a jar full of bright shiny things in plain sight in order to keep them occupied.
I would welcome a bucket of Mama's delicious sounding tailcock as a guard against the cool evening air

[polar-bear]

Evening All. For the roffle I have some half chewed Fox's Glacier mints.

[ladyalex]

I can categorically say that the fruit gums have never seen the inside of a human mouth.
No one likes the orange ones.

[DTCwordfan]

The Lady J is away tonight, I understand.

In tempo memoriam to her:


two old lazy crocodiles are basking by the moat water
they get round to talk about the Lady A’s sister

alba-croc, alba-croc
have you ever set eyes on young Lady J

tony-croc, tony-croc
Lady J who lives on Lizard - the one who is many-and-two

alba-croc, alba-croc
everyone knows she's a smart one that Lady J

tony-croc, tony-croc
oh ever so smart - there's just nothing she can't do

alba-croc, alba-croc
so smart - she could be a crocodile could Lady J

tony-croc, tony-croc
she sees what she's after - then flump me, snap - and it's true

alba-croc, alba-croc
if she came by here now - we wouldn't eat young Lady J

tony-croc, tony-croc
oh no - we'd be too scared to even say boo

alba-croc, alba-croc
so why don't we wish Happy Castle Day to Lady J

tony-croc, tony-croc
then straight in the water before she rings up the Lie-in King zoo

alba-croc, alba-croc
don't be so daft - she likes creatures does Lady J

tony-croc, tony-croc
ok - but no tears - or she'll raise hullaballoo

and the two old lazy crocodiles who couldn't hurt a fly
sing Happy Castle Day to Lady J as she passes them by