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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 18:59 Sat 16th Jun 2012 | Quizzes & Puzzles
292 Answers
The Club is now Open


Welcome one and all, old and older, mad and madder to our delightful club.

We have been experiencing some difficulties here at the Club HQ with the electrical apparatus , notably the light switches. The only explanation given so far by the electrical tradesman is 'gremlins'.
Consequently, members are warned to be very careful with water this week.


So far for the raffle we have :

1 sporran (badger head still relatively intact)
4 brass buttons (in need of polish)
a tube of fruit gums (only orange ones )
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Good evening miss Daisy, how nice to see you. Your flagon, miss...

Your bucket, sir...

puff pant
I have a small supply of padded clothes pegs concealed within the depths of my reticule I think they might be suitable for pgging noses in case of any offensive odours
As for the croc and the llama they are on their own.....and if I catch the llama gambling with the croc he will be banished to Muckle Flugga...
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Sorry, missed you there Daisy. Good evenign an dwelcome. And thanks for the raffle prizes.
I might have a go at Locke vol2. Couldn't get my head round vol1, but, nil desperandum
the croc will sort him out with some of MiLady's parrfume, tony
Pigging noses, swine now is it??
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Is that near Monya Mickle , nun ?
Anyway, it's the hour for the main offering, not knowing when the next Bardish poem will emerge:


When the Castle’s morning’s sun with golden sunny-dave beams
First streaks the moat from the eastern sky
We hear the snoring of the croc and the beating of Alex-ed’s drum
And there a Castle rag, sorry flag, floats sloopily high
And as the yellow dave orb of day ascends
We hear that same loved alba lullaby lay
“God Save the Lady A” is sung by friends
Upon the Lady’s mad party day.

It’s something like five and sixty years ago
A youthful maiden Tinkerbelle-like fair
Came to the Castle gness gate and, received a noble coronet
And still she’s sitting there a bit ttfn stiff, mind you
This scorched owdhamer earth has never seen the like
Go search the moat, Lie-in’s closets, Alfie’s pouch, where’er you may
Of all these five and sibton years
Each Saturday is the greatest day.

She has gained a place in all of ours and Mrs O’s heart
Throughout her vast excelsior estate
Not only o’er her Daisynonna visitor rules
But in their hearts the tailcock and mamya nibbles reign
All Mods rulers sure can learn of her flumps
Why – she’s a great maidup success
A riffle winner, slinky, uncorrupt and true
But Ladylike none the less

One starbuckone thing has helped our noble Lady
With home and nungate’s cares
And that one thing we all have seen
Is a party’s stream of more tailcock zoomy prayers
And prayers ascend from tenrec’s Windermere shores
Where tony’s rear flashes and gleams
Midst buffets rush and croc’s cards -, and BigMac roars
Arise, “God Save Lady A (or is it J; which one’s really our Queen?”
I am pleased to report that that the croc, his cat, the llama, skunk, raccoon and gremlin are all enjoying a game of cards. M'lady's personal cash machine is doing overtime with all the debit cards to hand...
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Once again I say, steady DT. My perfumes (Midnight in Paris and Californian Poppy) are secured my escritoire and on no account will be used to cover up anything a black and white stripey animal may do
If I can't borrow the poncho then for heaven's sake budge up a bit and let me get nearer the fire. I think I can use my great age as a reason for needing a bit more warmth than the rest of you (might as well use it as a reason, it's not good for anything else).
tony, my poncho has requested to be moved from the cranny it likes to hang in as there in an odour most unpleasant coming from a greatcoat hanging nearby. Meanwhile the poncho is here on my knee a quivering wreck and I have had to placate it with half a flagon of zoom to calm it. I trust you will take care of the odour? I believe it is the Gorgonzola sandwich your skunk insisted on eating.
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You've brought a tear to my eye, DT...and not for the first time.
It's only as far as the crow flies Milady.


Debits cards? No,............... mine is in my reticule he can spend his own money this time, next week I shall bring Spot the zebra that llama is becoming unmanageable
Jeyes fluid did not move it the last time, doubt 'Californian Poppy' would touch it, there is still a faint whiff in the under butlers washroom, maybe it could be investigated, will get my rubber gloves on.
Never fear Flump, I have stopped him from eating the baked beans and pickled onions, and another bucket if you please.
Allow me to refill your flagon, miss flump - I would be most interested to know how the poncho got out of the cranny, as I had thought it well secured...

Another bucket, your bardship - most excellent!

Miss Starbuck, another Zoom & I've increased the loggage on the fire...
starbuckone, of course you are most welcome to borrow the poncho, be sure to nod off before it does, it snores like a hog.
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I am informed by the son-and-heir who lives where skunks abound, that the solution is tomato juice, or alternatively to burn the house down and claim on the insurance.
May I suggest that we thoroughly investigate the tomato juice option first ?
We have lordalex and uncle joe to consider if we raze the building to the ground
I fear that I may have to unleash my great coat as he can hear Flumps ponco's mating calls.
Lie-in King, thank you, thank you, thank you, you are most accommodating. And just to get you out of trouble with Ms Flump, I confess the poncho sort of slipped into my hands as I was passing by.

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