Crosswords0 min ago
It's those children again.
It was the little girl's first day at school and the teacher was making out her registration card.
"What is your father's name?
"Daddy," replied the child.
"Yes, I know, but what does your mother call him?"
"Oh, she doesn't call him anything. She likes him!"
A boy called, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mum" have been proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched.
In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mum!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.
"That's wonderful!" his mother said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight."
That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily.
Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mum? How do you spell zilla?”
A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!"
Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
Confused, the toddler asked, "I do?"
"Sure," her dad said, pulling the kid's chain. "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy!"
"A sales rep was in a customer's home one afternoon and while he was talking to the customer, their 4 year old little girl whose name was Michelle, tugged on his trouser leg and excitedly exclaimed, "I have got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?"
He said, "Sure Michelle." So off to the backyard they went.
Upon getting into the backyard, He saw a brand new girl's bicycle. "Well, Michelle, That's a beautiful bicycle."
The rep asked. "Can you ride it?"
"Yes, I can ride it," she said, then with a sad face she pouted, "but it's broken."
The rep looked at the new bicycle and couldn't see anything wrong with it, so he asked her, "What's wrong with it?"
"I don't know," she shrugged, "but every time I ride it, it falls down!"
During a dinner party, the hosts' two little kids entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going.
The guests co-operated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left.
As they disappeared out of sight, there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, "You see, it is Vanishing cream!"
"What is your father's name?
"Daddy," replied the child.
"Yes, I know, but what does your mother call him?"
"Oh, she doesn't call him anything. She likes him!"
A boy called, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mum" have been proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched.
In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mum!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.
"That's wonderful!" his mother said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight."
That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily.
Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mum? How do you spell zilla?”
A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!"
Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
Confused, the toddler asked, "I do?"
"Sure," her dad said, pulling the kid's chain. "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy!"
"A sales rep was in a customer's home one afternoon and while he was talking to the customer, their 4 year old little girl whose name was Michelle, tugged on his trouser leg and excitedly exclaimed, "I have got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?"
He said, "Sure Michelle." So off to the backyard they went.
Upon getting into the backyard, He saw a brand new girl's bicycle. "Well, Michelle, That's a beautiful bicycle."
The rep asked. "Can you ride it?"
"Yes, I can ride it," she said, then with a sad face she pouted, "but it's broken."
The rep looked at the new bicycle and couldn't see anything wrong with it, so he asked her, "What's wrong with it?"
"I don't know," she shrugged, "but every time I ride it, it falls down!"
During a dinner party, the hosts' two little kids entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going.
The guests co-operated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left.
As they disappeared out of sight, there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, "You see, it is Vanishing cream!"
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Re Calling Daddy, a friend's daughter had it explained gently to her that when she started school, she would have to call her Daddy Mr Smith like all the other children. She called him Mr Smith all the time though, in school and out, he got some odd looks in the supermarket queue when she asked Mr Smith will you be bathing me tonight!
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Ha ha, love the Godzilla one! Also re the calling daddy one; in my nursery (I started in January) the previous teacher had a granddaughter who attended; I was talking with some children about the previous teacher one day and the granddaughter piped up "Yes but she isn't Mrs Jones anymore; she's just Nanny!"
A fairly straitlaced couple I used to know had a daughter, about 3-4 years. She suddenly came out with a few Anglo-Saxon expletives, Where have you heard words like that? asked horrified Mum. It's written on the wall there, said child, pointing to a wall. Hence, they realised that their child could read! My daughter still, after almost 30 years, gets teased about a journey on the M62 when she, at about 5, read a road sign as Goolie.
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