Christmas In The Good Old Days
ChatterBank0 min ago
Nonsense poetry....
15 Answers
While in the bath earlier today, and listening to Poetry Please, on the radio, this was recited http://
I knew I knew it, but I'd forgotten it was by Lewis Carroll. Wonderful stuff from my childhood!
I knew I knew it, but I'd forgotten it was by Lewis Carroll. Wonderful stuff from my childhood!
Answers
1 to 15 of 15
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Wouldn't you think it would be rather boring
to spend the whole day snoring?
Just lying around on boxtop's bed thinking
about what to do tomorrow morning.
boxtop's cat will sit very patiently by her feet
for a small but tasty piece of Mike cheesy meat.
A cat's life may seem rather boring,
to sit in the same spot happily snoring.
Boxtop's Rover can lap up white milk
while sitting on very smooth silk.
He'll sit contemplating on what to do
in a hour or two.
Even after boxie called,
he can still lay out all sprawled.
Think that Mikes toes are milky, stinky cheese
"Three more sticks", he miaows, "Mummy boxie Please!!!"
to spend the whole day snoring?
Just lying around on boxtop's bed thinking
about what to do tomorrow morning.
boxtop's cat will sit very patiently by her feet
for a small but tasty piece of Mike cheesy meat.
A cat's life may seem rather boring,
to sit in the same spot happily snoring.
Boxtop's Rover can lap up white milk
while sitting on very smooth silk.
He'll sit contemplating on what to do
in a hour or two.
Even after boxie called,
he can still lay out all sprawled.
Think that Mikes toes are milky, stinky cheese
"Three more sticks", he miaows, "Mummy boxie Please!!!"
one of my faves for pure drivel - Spike Milligan:
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!
Spike Milligan
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!
Spike Milligan
Before the children say goodnight,
Mother, Father, stop and think:
Have you screwed their heads on tight?
Have you washed their ears with ink?
Have you said and done and thought
All the earnest parents should?
Have you beaten them as you ought:
Have you begged them to be good?
And above all - when you start
Out the door and douse the light -
Think, be certain, search your heart:
Have you screwed their heads on tight?
If they sneeze when they're asleep,
Will their little heads come off?
If they just breathe very deep?
If - especially - they cough?
Should - alas! - the little dears
Lose a little head or two,
Have you inked their little ears:
Girls' ears pink and boys' ears blue?
Children's heads are very loose.
Mother, Father, screw them tight.
If you feel uncertain use
A monkey wrench, but do it right.
If a head should come unscrewed
You will know that you have failed.
Doubtful cases should be glued.
Stubborn cases should be nailed.
Then when all your darlings go
Sweetly screaming off to bed,
Mother, Father, you may know
Angels guard each little head.
Come the morning you will find
One by one each little head
Fill of gentle thoughts and kind,
Sweetly screaming to be fed.
Mother, Father, stop and think:
Have you screwed their heads on tight?
Have you washed their ears with ink?
Have you said and done and thought
All the earnest parents should?
Have you beaten them as you ought:
Have you begged them to be good?
And above all - when you start
Out the door and douse the light -
Think, be certain, search your heart:
Have you screwed their heads on tight?
If they sneeze when they're asleep,
Will their little heads come off?
If they just breathe very deep?
If - especially - they cough?
Should - alas! - the little dears
Lose a little head or two,
Have you inked their little ears:
Girls' ears pink and boys' ears blue?
Children's heads are very loose.
Mother, Father, screw them tight.
If you feel uncertain use
A monkey wrench, but do it right.
If a head should come unscrewed
You will know that you have failed.
Doubtful cases should be glued.
Stubborn cases should be nailed.
Then when all your darlings go
Sweetly screaming off to bed,
Mother, Father, you may know
Angels guard each little head.
Come the morning you will find
One by one each little head
Fill of gentle thoughts and kind,
Sweetly screaming to be fed.
I always loved this one by Shel Silverstein:
Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout -
She wouldn't take the garbage out
She'd wash the dishes and scrub the pans
And cook the yams and spice the hams
But though her parents would scream and shout
She wouldn't take the garbage out
So it piled up to the ceiling:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings
Brown bananas, rotten peas
Lumps of sour cottage cheese
Filled the can and covered the floor
And crapped the windows and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones
And drippy ends of ice-cream cones
Pizza crusts and withered greens
Soggy beans and tangerines
Peach pips, prune pips, orange peel
Glumpy globs of cold oatmeal
Crusts of black burnt buttered toast
Grisly bits of beefy roast
The garbage rolled on down the hall
It raised the roof and broke the wall
With greasy napkins, cookie crumbs
Globs of gluey bubble gum
Cellophane from old balloni
Rubbery blubbery macaroni
Peanut butter caked and dried
Cuts of green and mouldy pie
Rotten melon skins and mustard
Egg shells mixed with lemon custard
Cold French fries, rancid meat
Yellow lumps of (ugh!) cream of wheat
At last the garbage reached so high
That finally it touched the sky
And none of her friends would come to play
And all the neighbours moved away
Finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said
O.k. - I'll take the garbage out
But then, of course it was too late
The garbage reached across the state
From New York to the Golden Gate
And there in the garbage she did hate
Poor Sarah met an awful fate
That I cannot right now relate
Because the hour is much too late
So, children, remember Sarah Stout -
And always take the garbage out
Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout -
She wouldn't take the garbage out
She'd wash the dishes and scrub the pans
And cook the yams and spice the hams
But though her parents would scream and shout
She wouldn't take the garbage out
So it piled up to the ceiling:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings
Brown bananas, rotten peas
Lumps of sour cottage cheese
Filled the can and covered the floor
And crapped the windows and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones
And drippy ends of ice-cream cones
Pizza crusts and withered greens
Soggy beans and tangerines
Peach pips, prune pips, orange peel
Glumpy globs of cold oatmeal
Crusts of black burnt buttered toast
Grisly bits of beefy roast
The garbage rolled on down the hall
It raised the roof and broke the wall
With greasy napkins, cookie crumbs
Globs of gluey bubble gum
Cellophane from old balloni
Rubbery blubbery macaroni
Peanut butter caked and dried
Cuts of green and mouldy pie
Rotten melon skins and mustard
Egg shells mixed with lemon custard
Cold French fries, rancid meat
Yellow lumps of (ugh!) cream of wheat
At last the garbage reached so high
That finally it touched the sky
And none of her friends would come to play
And all the neighbours moved away
Finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said
O.k. - I'll take the garbage out
But then, of course it was too late
The garbage reached across the state
From New York to the Golden Gate
And there in the garbage she did hate
Poor Sarah met an awful fate
That I cannot right now relate
Because the hour is much too late
So, children, remember Sarah Stout -
And always take the garbage out
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