News4 mins ago
The Cows Lament
9 Answers
I was talking to an aged aunt yesterday and her Land Army days came up in conversation. This sparked a memory of a poem. Apologies to the real poets on AB. Artificial insemination, I thought it was a breakthrough in the sixties.
The Cows Lament
I've just given birth to a heifer,
And of milk & of pride I am full,
but I am sad to relate
That my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull!
I have never been naughty, I swear it,
In spite of the calf that I've borne,
Like the David Brown tractor
I'm Virgo Intacta
I've never had a bull by the horn.
How dreary the fields & the meadows,
The sheep yards are gloomy & grey,
Since a cows' only pleasure
to be taken at leisure
by science has been taken away!
I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight,
But I'd pull & I'd pull
For a strongly built bull
For this phony arrangement I hate!
You must not think I am jealous -
There are things that a cow should not say,
But these land army tarts
Who handle our parts,
Still get it the old-fashioned way!
The Cows Lament
I've just given birth to a heifer,
And of milk & of pride I am full,
but I am sad to relate
That my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull!
I have never been naughty, I swear it,
In spite of the calf that I've borne,
Like the David Brown tractor
I'm Virgo Intacta
I've never had a bull by the horn.
How dreary the fields & the meadows,
The sheep yards are gloomy & grey,
Since a cows' only pleasure
to be taken at leisure
by science has been taken away!
I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight,
But I'd pull & I'd pull
For a strongly built bull
For this phony arrangement I hate!
You must not think I am jealous -
There are things that a cow should not say,
But these land army tarts
Who handle our parts,
Still get it the old-fashioned way!
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by dickythecook. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Related Questions
Sorry, we can't find any related questions. Try using the search bar at the top of the page to search for some keywords, or choose a topic and submit your own question.