A Few Smiles, If Not Laughs!

[starone]

I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Burglars" and "Murderers" were NOT the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '

I walked past a kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you’re still there.'

Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance, with a face like that!'

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I’m going to take that.'

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. ‘You’re in that basket.’

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was, Where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?

[Gizmonster]

Haha .... nice one :)

[maggiebee]

Brilliant Starry, love them all.

[excelsior-1]

very good selection there, starone

[marval]

lol