Should Physically Disabled People Be Allowed To Adopt Children?

[beso]

Bringing up children in a "normal" family unit has been a hot topic of discussion lately.

Some have demonstrated an aversion to children being brought up in same sex parented families because they claim that it isn't a "normal" family unit. They have also objected to same sex parents being portrayed in children's books.

Most people are able bodied therefore that is the "norm". Indeed there would more people in same sex relationships than there are people where one of the partners is disabled.

Children brought up where one of the parents is physically disabled are obviously not experiencing a "normal" family life. On the terms some posters have backed these people should not be allowed to have children and certainly not permitted to adopt.

I am most interested in hearing from those who object to same sex couples having children because it isn't "normal". Do they also object to portraying disabled people in children's books on the grounds that it is not normal?

[Old_Geezer]

Injury isn't the same thing as you well know. Whether adoption is ok will be based on whether the prospective couple can cope or whether the adopted kids are looked on as helpers.

Is the intent to ask questions like this at a more & more absurd level until some point is claimed ? How about started a thread about ginger haired adoptive parents then ? Or maybe go in the other direction and ask about psychotic adoptive parents ? Psychosis being normal obviously since there are many examples.

[naomi24]

If the disability will create problems for the children, or be a burden on them, no, physically disabled people shouldn't be allowed to adopt

[Sharingan]

Doesn't that rather open up the dangerous idea that therefore if you take that idea to it's furthest extreme you ought to remove the children of disabled people from their genetic parents if those parents are a 'burden' to them or create 'problems' for them. Clearly it would be a bad idea to give two quadralegic people triplets to look after, but does it actually do anyone any good to have no sort of challenge when they are growing up? To have a deaf or blind parent would for example be difficult for a child, but it would have it's own very unique set of life lessons attached to it and would I would hope, create a well rounded, child who can empathise with the situaitons of others.

[naomi24]

If children are born to disabled parents, that is their parents' choice and the burden upon the children is unavoidable. It's quite another thing for the authorities to impose the burden of caring for disabled people upon children who have already had to face major obstacles in life. That is a lesson they can well do without.

[beso]

OG //Injury isn't the same thing as you well know.//

Some people are born disabled. Do you want to deny them the right to be parents because they are not "normal"?

[naomi24]

'Normal' doesn't come into it. This isn't about what potential parents want - it's about what's best for the children - and caring for disabled adults is not a burden that should be voluntarily imposed upon any child.

[beso]

OG // How about started a thread about ginger haired adoptive parents then ?//

Why not? Ginger hair is not "the norm".

And since they are not "the norm", by the "logic" of some, ginger haired children obviously should not be shown in children's books.

[Sharingan]

No I agreee with that. I am a definate bad influence on most people around me ;-)

[friedgreentomato]

Oh thats me screwed then - a ginger and physically disabled!!

[beso]

I know "disabled" people who are far more capable than many supposedly able bodied people.

One who springs to mind was a affected by thalidomide. His arms were a few inches long.

One of my strongest memories is buying a raffle ticket from him at a school function. While I was thinking what I was supposed to do he sat down, licked his toe as one might their thumb, flicked open the ticket book, wrote my name perfectly legibly on each ticket and "handed" them to me.

Definitely not normal. Actually an inspiration.

We have a man in Australia who was born with no legs. He goes on lecture tours to teach motivation, frequently at schools. Definitely not normal. Do you think it is weird exposing children to that?

[Sharingan]

Nick Vujicic, indeed, I'd think he'd make an excellent parent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjbX6mDnMwM

[woofgang]

I think that people with disabilities should be able to adopt provided, as Naomi says, that they won't end up as carers. Mind you I don't think that any child should be a carer in that sense and think that it is a grave indictment of society that this happens.

[Sharingan]

Agreed Woofgang- no child should have to act as it's parent's carer.

[jim360]

Not really comparing like with like here. If there is a legitimate and sensible reason to believe that two people are unable to provide adequate care for a child then they shouldn't be entrusted with that care. A legitimate reason would be that the two parents need extensive and ongoing care themselves. I don't think that most disabled people fall into this category, e.g. blond and deaf people are often quite capable of managing on their own with minimal help. But those that do ought not to be allowed to adopt. The important thing is to look after the best interests of the child.

There has been a campaign in The Times, and perhaps other newspapers as well, to change the guidelines for adoption to allow adoptive/ foster parents to take in children of a different cultural background from their own. The councils have felt, perhaps with some good reason, that the cultural clash could be damaging for the child. I'm not so sure that this is a legitimate reason not to allow an adoption, as the council's care system can't provide the right cultural environment either and two loving parents would be far better placed to adapt their lifestyle as needed to suit the child.

Anyway no, it's not like with like at all as compared with same-sex parents. There are legitimate reasons not to allow some disabled couples to adopt. It is becoming increasingly clear that there are no such reasons to deny same-sex couples the right to adopt.




Minor aside, Sharingan: "its", not "it's", in the possessive case.

[Sharingan]

minor aside ' blind' not 'blond' ;-)

[jim360]

...

Brillient.

[jim360]

As a blond I feel I am still capable of looking after children, although it's not always easy to look after myself!

[woofgang]

lol Jim "blond and deaf" was that a freudian slip?
inter ethnic adoption guidance is old news now, this article is from 2011
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8335182/White-couples-must-be-allowed-to-adopt-ethnic-children-new-guidance-says.html

and quite right too. It has happened in the US for many many years without incident or problem
http://www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com
this website started to help non black parents to learn about the skin and haircare needs of black children, but the website and the concept has widened to cover much more.

[bednobs]

it's quite hard for me to answer this question, because i am a disabled person, and lucky enough last year to have become a parent. Answers like the one from naomi make me very sad. The thought from other people that i might be a burden for my beautiful happy daughter also makes me angry

[sherrardk]

Presumably if the disabled parent if physically able to have a baby and raise it (who else is going to raise the child?) then the parent is able to look after the self too.