Ponderisms

[retrocop]

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two pennyworth in"...but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
I F YOU GO TO HEAVEN AND HAVE WINGS, WHAT IF YOU'RE SCARED OF HEIGHTS?

[Tilly2]

They've made me think, Retro. Some good ones there.

[AlwaysConfused]

Bloomin good observations, I have a few ponderisms too:
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? It's a scary thought!

Why do banks have automatic doors that allow anyone in, but chain their pens to the counter?

Why do mad people think they are sane, yet really boring people say 'I'm mad, me!?!'

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

How do people turn the air blue? what colour was it to start with?

[Canary42]

I've never come across the word ponderism. But it's a good word nevertheless;-)

A train stops at a train station, a bus stops at a bus station, so what happens at a work station ?

[bookbinder]

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

[marval]

If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

[Peter Pedant]

O god my brain is turning to mush .....

[Peter Pedant]

Is Military Intelligence an empty building ?
Everyone knows the military arent intelligent

who invented the term Postal Service and did they then go homw early that afternoon ?

// Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? //
but if you stick a baby in the dogs mouth, it eats it ?
Do not try this at home - folks

[marval]

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled

[stuey]

Why do our feet small and our nose runs?

[Peter Pedant]

// Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? //
yeah and why is polysyllabic, polysyllabic when it should just be long ?

yeah and why is a horse fly called that when it is considerably smaller than a horse ?

[Peter Pedant]

// If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled//

and when the pig voice ( no disrespect retro I didnt start this ) returns, it certainly isnt gruntled

yeah and I know a gormless answer when I see one - god knows there is enough practice on this thread, but what is gorm for chrissakes ?

[stuey]

We send goods by a car or truck and it's called a shipment; however, you send them by a ship and it's a cargo.

[stuey]

And if you're not drunk, are you ebrieted?

[The Builder]

Surely everything is within walking distance ..........

........... if you have the time.

[Svejk]

///What disease did cured ham actually have///

Not sure but whatever it was, it was terminal.

[Sipowicz]

What disease did cured ham have?
A bad case of overacting!

[stuey]

Why do we park in a drive-way, yet drive on a park-way?

[rccatnap]

Which *** put the 's' in the word 'LISP'?

[Grandma_Yiddo]

Some really good ones there, made me smile anyway.

[Chipchopper]

If someone is afraid of flying, why do they put up those "reassuring" signs, saying airport 'terminal' all over the place ?