Am I Right To Be Angry Or Am I Over-Reacting?

[tiggerblue10]

Little Tiggs' dad has been planning on taking him to Centre Parcs during the end of May bank holiday half term. They're going with another family with kids around the same age as Little Tiggs however his dad told me last night that the date its been booked for is 1st June, coming back on 4th June. The 4th June is a Monday and Little Tiggs is supposed to back at school on this day.

Basically we had an argument and I couldn't believe that the other family were, first of all taking their children out of school for one day (don't know what their school policy is but thats not my concern), and secondly, why was I not consulted. He argued that those dates were cheap and if they were to go earlier on in the week it would be very expensive.

I am fuming over this as the school may issue a penalty fine for an unauthorised absence. Little Tiggs' dad thinks that he can just call in sick but then there is the risk that Little Tiggs goes to school on the Tuesday and tells everybody about his holiday. He's already missed 4 days of school this term due to sickness and snow.

So, am I right to be angry or am I over-reacting?

[bhg481]

I think you are right to be angry, keeping him away from school without your consent is not the right way to go about it.
To avoid disappointment all round could he not agree to bring him back a day early?

[Old_Geezer]

I think the lack of consultation is a fair issue to get peeved about. But don't build it up more than it deserves. It's one day. But get an admission that he was wrong not to point it out, and you should've asked more questions earlier, but by rights you ought not have needed to.

Anger is not good for the one who's angry.

[fiction-factory]

The last day is usually a waste of time anyway as everyone leaves between 8am and 10am and with cars driving around most or all of the usual activities stop. So could he leave at say 5am or maybe the night before?

[Quoi]

//So, am I right to be angry or am I over-reacting?//
He probably didnt discuss because he knew you would be angry and yes I think you are over-reacting.
think of the child's viewpoint - a day off school and on holiday with Dad - who would argue against that.

[Patsy33]

Get dad to explain to school and pay fine if needs be. I would personally let child have day out of school (as long as dad is ready to pay fine) Child is probably excited about going now.

[maggiebee]

Understand your anger but........it's only 1 day and ask Little Tiggs' dad to pay the penalty fine in there is one.

[tiggerblue10]

He didn't seem to understand why I was angry which annoyed me even more. Anyway he has said that he would bring him back a day early if push comes to shove. I am going to insist that he does.

The reason I didn't ask any questions was because I thought it was being booked during the half term break O_G.

[Hopkirk]

You are absolutely right to be angry.
No ifs or buts.

[tiggerblue10]

There are lots of other factors surrounding why I'm upset about it.

Little Tiggs was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum just over a year ago and I've had to work really hard with the school to get them to recognise his needs and I finally think we're in a good position now with his needs. I don't want to run the risk of undoing the good relationship with the school if we face penalties etc.

[Hopkirk]

Perhaps let the school know of the disagreement, so if he does bring little Tigs back late they will know it is not your choice.

[Garaman]

Being angry seems an over-reaction to me. Being a bit annoyed would be a more reasonable response.

[tiggerblue10]

I may do that Hopkirk.

[tiggerblue10]

I think I just needed to sound off and I'm after opinions and possible solutions and also to be told to calm down. Sometime you need to hear/read it from someone else to bring it into perspective.

[Chris38]

No, you are not over reacting. There is one odd thing, however - since when did schools obtain the right to appoint themselves judges and juries and issue "fines" - a matter for the courts, surely. And do parents have the right to "fine" schools when teachers "work to rule" or strike - if not, why not?

[Quoi]

If you could only give yourself Best answer....
I am in a similar situation with a grandchild and my son's instinct is to criticise everything she does (and her likewise) - sometimes they forget the child they are fighting over.

[tiggerblue10]

This is an extract of the attendance policy-

What if we decide to go anyway?
If the Head Teacher has not authorised the leave and your child is out of school for between
half a day and 10 days then you may receive a minimum fine of £60 per child. (See The
Education (Penalty Notices) (England) Regulations 2007 at the end of this document). If your
child remains out of school for more than 10 days then you risk losing your child’s place.

[zebo]

My grandchildren are missing the last couple of days this term to go on holiday, the Head's OK about it, unauthorised but no further action. Ask yourself if you would have taken the opportunity of a much cheaper trip and keeping him out of school for the first day of term. It's not like missing day one in September.

[tiggerblue10]

We're not fighting over Little Tigs as we get on quite well and he goes to stay with him every other weekend and stays longer with him during school holidays.

The only thing I have a problem with is that he has never once visited the school so I've had to do all the schooling stuff which I've accepted.

[tiggerblue10]

I did take him out of school for 3 days in 2016 as my brother decided to get married in Turkey. The school didn't authorise it but they were aware as I wrote them a letter.

[bednobs]

well as the fine is per child per parent, i would be annoyed that actions of the other parent would be sticking me with a fine. How far away is CP from where you are? They could have a lovely last afternoon on the sunday, then drive back (with child asleep in the car if it's late) I would be insisting the dad spoke to the xschool to ask if he is taking him out of school