A man has been arrested for smuggling hay. He’s been released on bale.
“I asked my doctor if fish were healthy. He said, “I think so. I have never had to treat any.”
I really like to let my hair down at the weekend. I show it all the expensive shampoos then just buy the cheap one.
I went to a fancy dress party last night and I saw this guy who had dressed as a Helium balloon. He was stuck to the ceiling; I thought “He has let himself go.”
I love Toblerone; I can’t wait for them to launch Toblertwo.
I have just completed an obstacle course. I am now certified to prevent or hinder progress.
I bought some dog biscuits yesterday, they were labrador flavour.
My friend once wasted a load of money buying a forest. He got a lot of stick for that.
My army mates and I were complaining about our commanding officers. It was more of a General moan, nothing Major.
I was walking past a construction site the other day when a brickie started yelling abuse at an Indian woman. He was a cowboy builder.