Geordie

[Rondy]

Geordie wins ten grand on the lottery, so he goes halfies with his lass.

"What you spendin' your five grand on, pet?" he asks one night.

"Eeee", she replies, "Aa thought Aa'd have one o'them boob jobs, y'know - make 'em a bit bigger?"

"Argh, divven't be silly, man!" he says, "ye divven't want to gan spendin' lots o' money on that - Aa can show ye how to do that for nowt!"

"Eeee - what d'yer mean, for nowt?"

"Whey, arl yer dee is every morning, take a bit o' toilet roll an' rub it up an' doon the groove in between 'em."

"Now you're bein' silly", she says, "that'll nivver work!"

"It's worked on thee ***, pet!"

[Old_Geezer]

I didn't know that "bottom" was a censored word.

[Canary42]

You're a bit behind OG :-D

[Hopkirk]

One of your better ones, Rondy.