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Society & Culture4 mins ago
Just pipped in the pub quiz again tonight.
Apparently Joan of Arc was not Noah's wife.
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We was so poor as kids my mum used to buy our clothes out of the army and navy store.
Wasn't so funny going to school dressed as a Japanese admiral.
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning.
Does that make me a cereal killer ?
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After completing his annual physical on a patient, the doctor asked if there was anything that was bothering him. Joe replied, "Yeah, my hearing."
The doctor examined Joe's ear and removed some ear wax. He then asked Joe if his hearing was better.
Joe said, "I don't know, the hearing isn't till next Tuesday."
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I once had a job painting the white lines on roads, but I packed it in before I went round the bend.
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I won a gold medal at the World weather forecasting championship.I beat the raining champion.
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Just been reading How to cross the road safely by Luke Left and Den Wright.
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Just bumped into an old mate today. I said, "What are you doing these days?"
He said, "I prepare meals for the homeless, drug addicts, lazy beggars and down and outs."
I said, "Oh, are you working for the Salvation Army?"
He said, "No. Wetherspoons!"
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